Our Montana Life

Hoping for Answers Today!

2012-02-09T10:09:00.004-07:00

Today is a busy doctor day.. and a busy day at the office. Wish I could find the energy and motivation to actually accomplish all that I need too...

Anyway, this morning I see my knee surgeon for my 6 week follow-up. I think he will agree that I am doing good. I am asking him when I can be done with PT that is for sure! Don't think I will like the answer... but hey, I am going to try :0) I looked at our insurance claims today and was a bit shocked by how much all that torture costs! Not only do I hate it... it is expensive. Of course, I ony pay $15 per visit.. but wow.. I had no idea that it was $300+ per visit. I am in the wrong profession!

Speaking of money and insurance... I also looked at the hospital bill.. Holy Cow! Let's just say I am very thankful for insurance at the moment.. crazy expensive. Not to mention the surgeon, and everyone else. Again.. thankful for insurance.

This afternoon I am seeing my cardiologist again. At least he is my cardio guy for today. If I don't get some answers today.. I will have to look at other options. This just can't go on. I was in afib and terrible pain and short of breath most of the night. Did get some sleep from midnight to 2 am.. but at 2 it hit like a freight train in my chest. Suffered til 4:30... but then my alarm when off at 6. Thankfully... or maybe not?!?! It was a-ok then.. just in time to get up, get the kids ready for school and to head to the office. So... I will let you all know what he says.. but at this point I am over it and can not continue this way :/ It may not be life threatening at the moment.. but it is certainly life limiting.

Now that my knee is doing great.. I want to be out and about.. but I can't even walk up the stairs in my house that can't be good! Guess I better scoot to my appointment. I hope you are all well and having a great day!

Frustrating Few Days...

2012-02-08T11:45:00.005-07:00

Here it is Wednesday, and I am still having troubles with my heart rhythm. Why is my heart doing all of this nonsense? Wish I knew.. I think my cardiologist does too. I asked him what could trigger an episode of atrial fibrillation, and he said if he could answer that he would be a multimillionaire. Ok, so I guess that means he doesn't know. Sounds like it is a bit different for everyone. The last week has had me feeling terrible :0(

From what I understand, a-fib is caused my erratic electrical activity of the heart. It is not necessarily a life threatening emergency... but over time can lead to that in the event of a blood clot and subsequent stroke. Or even heart failure if it is ignored over time. Since the blood doesn't pump out of the atria (top chambers of the heart) like it should, some of the blood can pool there and clot.. so if it travels to the brain, or lungs there could be big trouble. So, #1 I am have to take large dose of aspirin everyday to keep my blood thin. When I talked to the dr yesterday, it sounds like that might be changed to an actual blood thinner this week. since my heart is not behaving.

My doctor does have some pretty good ideas of why this is happening to me.. just not necessarily why it has gotten so much worse in the last six weeks since my knee surgery. First, it is likely that I have some heart damage from 2003, when I nearly died from a septic infection. During that time, my heart was very out of control and in constant atrial fibrillation from the infection and respiratory distress. The atria of my heart are "dilated" still not exactly sure what that means, but the doctor said that they are larger than they should be, so the nerves and what not are sort of stretched, not exactly how they should be. Could be the way I was born.. or from the illness. Plus, the mild heart murmur that I have had in the past is much louder, so he thinks there may be an bigger issue with the valve between the atria and ventricle on one side of my heart. That has been there too.. but probably made worse for some reason. All of the extremely high heart rate and afib episodes are not helping either... so at this point the main goal is to get the electrical activity in my heart controlled.

This should be a relatively easy process.. but that hasn't proven to be the case. I am starting to feel like a medication guinea pig, but am trying to stay patient, because I do know that everyone's body chemistry is different, so it takes a bit to get things sorted out. I tried a new medicine a week ago, that proved to be just awful. Gave me terrible headaches, nasuea, blurred vision and dizziness.... plus I was still having multiple afib episodes per day.. so the doc is weaning me off, since it is dangerous to stop cold turkey. The good news is the rate control med is helping to keep my heart rate low... which is good, most of the time. I do have to be careful, since there are times when it can get too low. Like after laying down for awhile, and standing up fast, makes everything go black and I nearly pass out when my blood pressure drops.

I am going back again to the dr tomorrow.. actually have to see 2 doctors tomorrow. My 6 week knee followup is in the morning, then back to the cardiologist in the afternoon. We will then talk about "what's next" I can tell you for sure that I am not going to continue on like this. I just can't. This morning I couldn't wake the kids up for school, because I couldn't stand up.. and then later I had to rest halfway up the stairs. Last night I couldn't read Gracie her book because I couldn't talk and breath at the same time.. she read the book to me instead. I have things to do.. no time for this crap if there is something more that can be done.

Isn't February supposed to be heart month?!?! Crazy...but I know it will get better. I do trust the doc, and I know he will get to the bottom of it.

Thankful for Friday!

2012-02-03T09:56:00.003-07:00

So happy Friday has come around the calendar again! I treasure my weekends with my family, and I am not going to lie... I really NEED to catch up on some sleep this weekend. I realize that sounds crazy.. that I am wanting to sleep my life away and live for the weekend, but right now that is where I am at!

My heart continues to give me troubles. Remember a few posts back, I told you I thought things were better.. well shortly after that it got worse. I am now having atrial fibrillation issues almost daily.. twice this week, I had two episodes in a single day. They are lasting longer too.. like, hours. While my heart is flip flopping, I literally can not do anything else, but try and either lay down (which sometimes makes it worse) or just sit in a quiet place til it passes. Then, when it stops, I am exhausted! They are certainly not helping my productivity. No, I am not ignoring this issue & hoping it fixes itself. I have seen the cardiologist twice in the last week, and have a follow up next week. They have changed my medicine (again) to an anti-arrhythmic and a rate control medicine. It sounds like it takes a bit to get the correct dosage and they need to start off slowly, so I am hopeful that once I have a therapeutic dose in my system things will calm down and my heart will be happy. Until then, I am taking it easy. He bumped my dose up again yesterday, and today is better.. I am not as short of breath and my heart is behaving.. so that is great! I am just really spacy, sleepy and have a headache... I am sure from the medicine, so I am hoping I just need to get used to it. I HATE all the medicine I have to be on for various things.. I know it can't be all that great for me, but right now I guess it has to be this way. If the medicine doesn't work soon... he is talking other "options"... which involve surgery and such, so I am not even going down that road right now... it hasn't even been 6 weeks since I had major surgery.

My knee continues to improve each day. I am now at 123 degrees bending at at 0 degrees for flexion.. all good progress. I go to PT twice a week, and it really does wear me out, but it is good for my knee. I am doing the exercises at home too.. at least twice a day, sometimes 3 if I can, depending on what my heart will allow me to do.

Chris had a sleep study earlier in the week, because he just sleep well at all. All of his doctors agreed that something had to be done about the sleep.. since the lack of sleep is causing so many issues. We had a follow up with the sleep specialist today, and the results are pretty definite... he does have sleep apnea, pretty significant in fact. Her recommendation is to see an ear, nose and throat specialist soon, to get his tonsils and adenoids taken out, since in kids his age, that is typically what is blocking off his airway. The ENT guy will do a thorough evaluation and see what is causing the apnea, and see what else they can do to help him sleep better. Crazy! Does this family really need more medical "stuff" to deal with?!? I think NOT. Chris is mad at me too... apparently it is my fault he has sleep apnea.. .go figure! I shouldn't have made him go to the dr.. like it was my idea?

Ok.. so since it has taken me most of the day to finish this.. I guess I am done for now. Ready to head home in a couple hours and relax! I hope you all have a fantastic weekend :0)

More Than A Pair of Shoes!

2012-02-02T11:20:00.006-07:00

Since Christmas I have wanted to share something that Gracie participated in, but just haven't gotten to it yet. I was hoping to have more pictures for you... but life happened, and pictures didn't get taken..

This year our church created a new program called "Operation Sole Connection". Similar to the Operation Christmas Child many churches participate in, but this was something just our church did. We support a school in Ethiopia called Bright Hope. This is a school for orphans and really poor kids. They are blessed at the school, and do have school supplies and what not, but what is lacking for the kids is shoes. As you know, kids grow out of shoes pretty darn fast, and the just don't have the resources to buy shoes as often as the kids need them. Plus, as you can imagine, they are walking on dirt and rocks all the time, so they really do need good shoes.

So, Gracie chose a girl to buy a pair of shoes for. She really wanted a girl her age, but when we went through the envelopes, we were looking at the older kid box, so she decided to pick a girl that was 16, because her brothers are 16. Then she went one step further and found a girl that wore a size 7.5 shoe.. her age. Pretty good logic I would say :0)

It was a great learning opportunity for her, as we talked about where the girl lived, and her likely circumstances. She very carefully picked out a pair of green and white tennis shoes. Thinking that pink or purple might be too young for a teenager.

Here is the part where I wish I had pictures.. but, oh well! Since Christmas is a crazy time of year, one day after school Isaac helped Gracie get the shoes ready, and they packed them up. Along with a picture of our family and a letter describing our family and where we lived and what not. Sounds like they had a grand time with it, just the two of them. So, I didn't have the heart to make them open everything up just so I could take a picture!

We dropped the shoes off in their yellow backpack on Christmas Eve. They left for Ethiopia a few days after Christmas, with plans to give them to the kids early January when they celebrate Christmas in Ethiopia. It sounds like that part didn't go like they expected either... the shoes got stuck in customs for two weeks, while paperwork and money were all sorted out. Not an easy process. The kids finally all got their shoes, but after the celebration they had planned. We were hoping they would have pics of the kids with the shoes, but it didn't exactly work out that way.. no big deal though, we know she got them!

Now that Christmas is over, and we are back in somewhat of a normal routine, Gracie still wonders about the girl so far away, wearing the shoes that she picked out! I can't wait to talk to Kate when they get back from Africa to hear all about how everything went.. and see if by chance we can get a a picture or two. :0)

Such a great learning opportunity for our kids to get a more global perspective. Who knows, maybe someday we will get to go visit the school!

Gracie dropping of her shoes before her Christmas Program.

Kate and Sandy at the airport with half of the shoes.. the other half were with the other group, 600 pairs total. Ours were with this group.

They made it out of customs and to the school! Here they are all sorted and ready for the kids!

Ponderings from Worship....

2012-02-01T09:08:00.004-07:00

I am still thinking and pondering all that we learned and experienced this past Sunday at church. It was a great Sunday morning, and the message has really challenged me this week. Lots to think about and ponder.

I know some of you reading this may not be all that "religious" and that is totally ok by me. You can take a "pass" on reading this. However, it is good for me to write things out... helps me think, AND helps me remember later when I look back on this day sometime in the future.

Each month we are challenged to get around a verse in the Bible, and really study on it, pray on it and just "live" it... So, this is our study for a time....

Ephesians 3:14-19: Paul's Prayer for Spiritual Growth

When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

I actually LOVE this verse... I love the visual of tree roots going down... holding me up. It challenges me to think about just how much my God loves me... and I truly don't think my human, earthly being can totally understand just how much.

EMPOWER.STRENGTH.TRUST.LOVE.COMPLETE.FULLNESS.POWER.

One of our worship songs this past week really spoke to my heart too... one of the main themes is giving up control.. and those who know me well know..that this is one of the biggest issues I face in my life... I am a "control freak" and I hate it! Plus, no matter how hard I try... I just can't walk through this life without stumbling a bit... So, this really spoke to my heart. I am posting the video hear, the version with the lyrics.. Just hoping it helps me be more of what GOD wants me to be.. not what I think is best...

Just Dance...

2012-01-31T13:27:00.002-07:00

I want my daughter's spirit. She loves her dance class so much, and can just be herself.. there is absolutely no pressure do be anything different. She dances around without a care in the world, always trying and doing her best, even when some of the sills are really hard for her. She doesn't seem to notice or care, just dances!

I was fortunate to be able to watch her class the last couple weeks when I wasn't at work. These photos are pretty small, since I didn't have enough sense to bring the camera, so my phone pics will have to do.

She is wearing her brand new tutu that Gramma made for her. All of the other girls loved it! Not sure how much she will actually be able to wear it to class though..it is really poofy, and kind of gets in the way of what she needs to do, because she is twice as wide as normal ... especially at the barre. BUT it is so cute.. she wears it at home too when she is dancing to her Wii just dance game. I know she feels like a princess ballerina when she wears it!

Something Fun from Christmas...

2012-01-30T14:49:00.004-07:00

I do have some things to share from Christmas... Here is the video from the Kid's Choir Performance at our Christmas Eve service at our church. This was the kids last performance, and if you look close, you will see a few yawns... they were worn out. I also noticed that Gracie had taken her headband/bow thing out of her hair too! LOL Kinda wish they would have video taped the one before this one, it was their best performance... but this one is REALLY cute too. I can't even tell you how proud of my girl I am for being brave enough to do this... she did fantastic!

This is the entire service, which really is worth watching, but if you want to just get a glimpse of Miss Grace, start at about the 6:50 mark or so. They only have two songs.. so it isn't too long! Enjoy...

Christmas at the Commons 2011: Christmas Made Whole from Journey Church on Vimeo.

Starting to Feel Like Myself

2012-01-30T11:40:00.003-07:00

I made it through my knee surgery great on December 28, and am just starting to feel a bit more like myself. Crazy, it has already been a whole month! Everything went well, just a few little hiccups with some allergic reactions one to a pain med... never in my entire life have I been that itchy from head to toe... and another allergy to adhesive stuff.. but pretty much that was it.

My heart did decided it didn't like all the messing around, different medications and overall trauma, and it decided to do it's atrial fibrillation thing.... really bad in the hospital on the third night, and then pretty much every day for the first 3 weeks.. not fun, and scary. I have seen the cardiologist a couple times, and they have taken a way a medication that wasn't doing its job and added a couple new ones. So far, so good... crossing my fingers the new "cocktail" continues to work.. but not a single episode for 5 days.. so I think things are good. Feel a little less foggy too.. and have a bit more energy.. so my heart must be a little happier. I have some weird electrical stuff going on, and my atria are a little dialated, and there is something odd with a valve.. apparently all damage from when I had such trouble in 2003 with the septic infection and adult respiratory distress syndrome stuff... YUCK! But, at least for now, I am on the right track, and feel confident in my cardiology guy.

I came back to work for about 20 hours last week.. we will see how much I get in this week. Taking it slow, leaving when I get tired, but each day is better. Physical therapy is so much harder than I thought it would be, but the hard work is paying off. Both my dr and therapist are very happy with my progress. I have hit some sort of plateau in the extension (straightening) so that is a bit of a bummer... and means more hard work. Plus, since I am back at work, and busy with "life" stuff.. the exercise time seems to be getting put to the back burner more and more often... NOT helping I know.. so this week I vow to do my thing 3 times per day... before anything else... yep, I am scared of my therapist :0)

Jim has been fantastic through all this.. and so have all my kids. I am SO lucky to share my life with him.. and have somebody so caring to make sure I am well taken care of. Believe me, with him working all night and taking care of 4 kids.. and me, all by himself... he did amazing! I already miss getting to spend the day with him.. have to get used to our crazy schedule again. There is no greater feeling in the entire world, than knowing that at my worst, and my best and everything in between, my guy will be by my side... and I for him.. Jim is truly one of the best blessings God has ever given me.

Okay, that is my short update for now. Time to eat my lunch, work on the knee and get some ice before the afternoon gets going, and I have to head to physical therapy. Hope all is well in your world today! Hugs to all...

Surgery Day!

2011-12-28T04:52:00.001-07:00

Well, today is the day of my knee replacement surgery. The beginning of a new journey.. One I hope ends being pain free and much more mobile... in a few months. I have to be at the hospital at 5:45.. Probably good since I couldn't sleep last night, and have been awake since 3! I will try to update my twitter feed as I go along, so you know what's up... Although who knows what I might end up posting:)

Is it weird to almost be excited? Sure, I am nervous... Really nervous... But also eager to sleep an entire night without my knee waking me up, and to walk and have fun with my kids, and well, really just be functional again..I am too young to feel this way!

We had a great Christmas, I will catch up on that later. Hope you all did as well. Will post some pics too.

My Brave Girl... Photo Day #22

2011-12-22T20:32:00.003-07:00

Tonight was Gracie's first kid's choir performance at our church. I wasn't sure how she was going to do. She had been doing great in practice, but I wondered what would happened when she walked on stage and realized that the entire worship center was full of people watching her. I could tell she did pause, and start to get nervous.. but about 10 seconds, but as soon as the music started, she did awesome.. Sang every word just like a pro... I even saw some huge smiles. I will take more pics at the service we actually attend, so I am not clear in the back.. but here is a glimpse!

I am just completely amazed at how far she has come in the last year. She is becoming my brave girl! I was a little misty eyed watching here when I realized just how close we had come to never experiencing this moment... she is our "Amazing Grace"

Slipping & Sliding.... Photo Day #21

2011-12-21T23:49:00.001-07:00

I thought this picture was pretty cute.. an reminded me of how slippery it was on Wednesday! I was walking through the parking lot during my lunch hour, and before I could catch myself I was falling on the ground.. hard! It all happened in an instant too. Of course, my pride was hurt the worst, so I had to quickly jump up, and act like all was a-ok, and hope nobody really saw me.. when in fact I know they did. When I fell, I twisted my left ankle, landed hard on my rear-end.. sending shock waves up and down my entire spine! Yikes.. it hurt... especially my bad neck. The ankle is sore, but it will be ok. Just a little swollen and black and blue. I still feel it in my back today.. but I will live. Geez, I need to be more careful, or stop wandering around on the ice... don't want to mess something else up a week before my knee surgery.

Peaceful... Photo Day #20

2011-12-20T20:57:00.001-07:00

Santa stopped by tonight to visit the kids, and make sure the were still being good before he packs up his sleigh. Love this photo.. Santa looks peaceful before the big rush.. wonder what he is pondering?

No Photo :(... Photo Day #19

2011-12-20T09:01:00.002-07:00

Ok, so my first fail! Yesterday was crazy busy, and Gracie had her first technical dress rehearsal for her big Christmas concert, so that kept me at church til late. Plus, I am trying to get things wrapped up here at work before I am gone for several weeks, so rather than try and drum something up.. I am just making this a no photo day.. and I can do that, because this is my "space".

Check back later though... still working on something for #20 :)

Hard at Work... Photo Day #18

2011-12-18T20:34:00.001-07:00

We are still hard at it getting ready for Christmas. Sam and Gracie are busy decorating cookies for Santa.. These were gingerbread boys. We also have sugar cookie trees. I must say, they are quite "creative".. But they worked so hard..I wouldn't trade them for all the perfect cookies in the world!

Getting Ready for Santa... Photo Day #17

2011-12-17T17:26:00.001-07:00

Today we are working like little elves, getting ready for Santa :) Gracie is doing her best to keep herself entertained, she drew a picture of Santa. The sleepover was a huge success! She will be going to bed very early tonight.. She is very crabby.. Sleepover hangover I think!

Sharing My Daughter...Photo Day #16

2011-12-16T14:53:00.004-07:00

Okay, I know this is an old photo, but since I won't be with my girl tonight to take photos, this one will have to work. I have decided that I am not that great about sharing my daughter... isn't that weird? That is the thought that popped into my head a few minutes ago... I don't want to share her.. It is just about time for school to let out for the day, and I always think of my kids about this time of day, excited to hear about how their day went, but also happy to have them home again. However, tonight Gracie is spending the night at her best friend Maggie's house. Maggie is in the purple pants/green shirt in the picture. Gracie had a sleep over for her birthday back in April, so that is where the photo comes from. This is Gracie's very first sleep over away from home.. and she is excited, and probably a little nervous too. I am so happy that she is taking this big step but...

I didn't really think I would be nervous.. but I guess I am. I miss her already.. and want to sneak out of work early for just one more hug and kiss.

I know she will be fine, she adores her friend, and her friend's Mom is awesome, and knows Gracie well. Gracie has been to her house for play dates several times, so it isn't a new place. Plus, Gracie loves the whole "sleep over" experience.. it is just usually at our house. She will have a blast, they have been planning all week.

Gracie is such a joy to my heart, and I know she is a joy to others, so I need to get used to sharing my baby girl!

**Update** Maggie's mom just texted me this picture of the girls! It sounds like she is having a great time... Right now it is 9:30... I bet she makes it all night :) I thought it was very thoughtful of her to send me the picture and give me an update...

Christmas Program Pictures

2011-12-15T12:42:00.010-07:00

Just wanted to share some pictures from Sam and Gracie's Christmas programs. They were both very crowded, but so fun, and the kids all did a fantastic job. Their teacher really did a great job with the kids this year.

My Sweet Girl.... Photo Day #15

2011-12-15T11:31:00.004-07:00

Gracie all dressed up for her 2nd grade Christmas program. She is my beautiful girl, and she is growing up way to fast. In her program she was a sugar plum fairy, so she was supposed to wear purple. She put on her fairy wings at the school :0)

Scary... Photo Day #14

2011-12-14T09:30:00.005-07:00

This morning's drive to work was a little scary. It snowed a bit earlier in the morning, after it started as a really wet snow. So, there was black ice on the roads. Even in this picture it doesn't look too bad, but it was really slick, and folks didn't realize that until they were spinning and sliding.

I had to wait for 30 minutes this morning because of a 3 car accident. This photo is only on the very edge so it is hard to see the full extent of what was going on. I didn't really think the highway patrol would appreciate me slowing or stopping to take photos when I passed, while tons of cars waited behind me, or I caused another accident.

By the looks of things, a few people had to be sent to the hospital, as I saw 2 ambulances speed away, with one still there. Lots of fire trucks and police too, trying to do their jobs as crabby, impatient people realized they were going to be late for work... really late! Some people are just so insensitive. How would you like to be the one who is on the side of the road because you just got plowed over by a car going too fast?

All is well though, well at least for me I made it to work 45 minutes late, but I am here, safe and sound.

A Special Guy... Photo Day #13

2011-12-13T18:30:00.003-07:00

Today hasn't been the best day for taking photos. Some sort of tummy bug has hit our house, and it isn't pretty. Nothing to take a photo of that is for sure! Gracie is the latest victim.

This photo is from last spring. Today I was reminded again how great of a Daddy my hubby is. Gracie just adores him... I kinda do too! He is so caring and cleans up barf like nobody I know :)

Last night Jim didn't think he was going to be able to go to Sam's program. They were doing something to the floors at the surgery center, and he needed to meet the crew at 5 to show them somet hings in the OR or something. Well, they must have had a change of plans, since the crew didn't show up at the appointed time. Jim stayed for a bit, but then clocked out and drove the 20 minutes to the school in time for Sam's program. He didn't have to, but truly wanted to see his son and surprise him. The look on Sam's face was priceless. I know lots of guys who wouldn't have bothered... Happy to get out of it.

Last week at one of the Christmas Strolls, I overheard Gracie say to another kid... Why doesn't your Dad ever take you places like my daddy does? Kind of of an awkward moment when the other kid said "I don't know" but Gracie's Daddy was beaming! He just looked at me, squeezed my hand and said... That is why my kids always come first. Such a precious moment!

We are all so lucky to have Jim in our lives. He is one of a kind... In a sweet, quirky kind of way... And he is all ours!

My little man Sam... Photo Day #12

2011-12-12T20:07:00.001-07:00

Sam had his Christmas program tonight! It was mass chaos, since they didn't expect so many people to show up, but that was ok. Will try and post more pics later... if I have any that turned out that is. We were kinda far back and Sam was in a big shadow so pictures were hard to get. We will go even earlier to see Gracie on Wednesday!

Yikes

2011-12-12T09:15:00.010-07:00

Like I mentioned before, I had some tests and what not done last week in preparation for my upcoming surgery. On Friday, I got a call from my doctor's nurse letting me know that I am anemic, which I knew, since that is something I struggle with all the time. It seems my hematocrit is at 30%. Which, honestly doesn't seem horrible to me. I have been down much lower before. I guess the lower end of normal for women is 36%. I am waiting to hear from the doctor to see if it is too low for surgery. I have been taking large amounts of iron, folic acid and B12 in hopes of getting my numbers up. Just don't know how quickly I can get it up. My surgery is in a little over 2 weeks. Yikes! On a good note though.. the chest xray and ekg looked good. My heart rate was a little low, but probably because of my a-fib medicine. I guess the only thing I can do is think good thoughts, take my iron, eat lots of spinach and red meat and say a couple prayers it all works out as it should.

**Update** Well, today I talked to my actual doctor and she is not as concerned as the nurse was. My hematocrit is not 30, but actually 33.. so even better. My doctor was actually happy with that number, given my history of much lower numbers. She doesn't think the surgery will have to be postponed.. not sure if that is a good thing or not :( Starting to get a little nervous.. only 2 weeks... Yikes!

Tree Time... Photo Day #11

2011-12-11T15:10:00.002-07:00

Gracie and I picked out our tree today, and we love it! Unfortunately Daddy had to stay home with a sick Sam. I was up all night with him.. Literally, must have slept only a couple hours. Poor little man. He still can't keep even water down, so crossing our fingers he gets better so he doesn't have to miss his program tomorrow.

Despite a sick kid and no sleep, we are determined to get the outside lights up and the tree and house decorated, otherwise we will not get everything done before Christmas.

Yummy... Photo Day #10

2011-12-10T19:20:00.001-07:00

Every year, Jim gets a box of chocolates from the lawyers office he cleans. He shares with all of us, we each get to pick one... or sometimes 2 each night after dinner before Christmas...YUM!

Creative... Photo Day #9

2011-12-09T13:23:00.002-07:00

Like I mentioned when I started this photo day thing, some of the photos won't be the greatest, since most will likely come from my phone. Here is one that could be better... but oh well!

Last night we went to Manhattan, a small little town about 9 miles from where we live. The town my hubby grew up in. They were having there annual Christmas Stroll. Here is a display of gingerbread houses that people entered into the gingerbread house contest. Some very creative people I might add. There was the Eiffel tower, houses from the spongebob cartoon, log cabins, farms, tractors, houses and everything in between. It was really cool to see what folks came up with, and the all edible materials they used. Loved the hay bales of shredded wheat... someone even used frosted mini-wheats for roof shingles. Sam and Grace loved looking at them, and excited to construct their own gingerbread creation in the next few weeks. I am sure I will post a pic or two of that too.

The kids were able to sit on Santa's lap, and tell them what they wanted for Christmas. A Rapunzel magic tower for Gracie and an excavator for Sam. So, guess who is online today trying to find those things... yep, me! We took a horse-drawn wagon ride through town, with Gracie and Sam singing Christmas carols the whole way... Gracie at the top her lungs. Thankfully the others on the ride with us weren't to annoyed, and even a little amused.

We finished our evening with dinner at one of our favorite restaurants in town. A fun evening, but I think I am done Christmas Strolling for the year.

Privacy Please.... Photo Day #8

2011-12-08T08:10:00.002-07:00

I have been running around a bit, trying to get everything done and ready for my upcoming surgery, so everything is done so I can concentrate on Christmas. I had to run up to the hospital for a chest xray, so was waiting in the outpatient services waiting room. Here they take you in a little room to register, meaning they get all you billing information squared away, and make sure they know why you are there.

I had already registered, and was waiting in the waiting room. I actually had to wait quite a bit, since they were really busy, so I saw quite a few people file in and out. If you look at the two doors in the photo, you will see one is open and one is closed. Both rooms have patients in them. The lady on the right registered me. She has one of those really loud booming voices, and asked lots of questions, that frankly were probably none of her business, in addition to the typical private medical type information. So, since she left the door open, everyone in the entire waiting room was able to hear everything that was going on in that room.... and I now know what tests were being done, what type of insurance they have or don't have... that some guy was in a bad auto accident, another was just diagnosed with cancer. Really, lady... have some courtesy and provide some privacy please. Not that I have anything to hide, but some of the information that I heard was not meant for me to hear...

Oh, and after a bit, she came out and told the other gal that she was not going to be available for a couple of minutes because she needed to make a phone call... and guess what? She walked in the office, and promptly shut the door! Guess she only cares about her own privacy. I did try and blur her out of the photo too.. you know , to respect her privacy a bit!

Don't Be A Bucket Dipper.... Photo Day #7

2011-12-07T09:11:00.006-07:00

Last night after dinner, Gracie and Sam were in the kitchen making Christmas trees out of construction paper, and decorating them. I was in the living room talking to Isaac, but half way listening the younger kids too. Sam was starting to be a little turkey, not wanting to share supplies and such. I hear Gracie say, rather loudly in her "bossy" voice... "Sam, don't be a bucket dipper!!".... Of course that made me tune in a little bit more to the conversation.. mostly because of Gracie's tone of voice, but also what she was saying.

I asked her what she was talking about, and she in her "tattle tale" voice told me Sam wasn't being a bucket filler, he was being a bucket dipper. What?!?... Sam seemed to know exactly what she was talking about, but I felt like they were talking in another language.. I wanted to understand, but was having a hard time.

Well, apparently yesterday at school they had a lesson by their school counselor. She travels to each classroom once a month and gives lessons about some sort of social type issue. They proceeded to explain to me that each of us carry around an invisible bucket. Our bucket is filled with things that make us feel good about ourselves, make us happy and help us do good. When someone says something nice, or does something nice for you, or if you accomplish something hard, it fills up your bucket... but when someone says something mean, doesn't share or isn't nice they "dip" into your bucket and take a little bit of it away, making us sad and crabby. I guess you can also dip into your own bucket by saying, or doing mean things to someone else. Wow.. pretty cool concept and something to really think about. The pictures above, are what they did at school after their lesson. They are on our fridge now.

So, in our house, we are going to be mindful of our buckets, and try to keep them full.. and not be bucket dippers!

Listening... Photo Day #6

2011-12-06T09:46:00.003-07:00

I love Pandora, my internet radio station of choice. I can choose the music I want to listen to, and I don't have to listen to a bunch of commercials and what not. You should check it out. I just let it play on in the background while I am working, and especially love this time of year, when I can listen to just Christmas! It is usually on at home too. If you don't like the song that is on, you can just skip it.

Brrrr ... Photo Day #5

2011-12-05T09:27:00.005-07:00

Minus ten this morning.... would much rather be snuggled in
at home with my family!

Tis The Season to Adore... Photo Day #4

2011-12-04T14:31:00.004-07:00

The season to adore and worship our Lord Jesus Christ

Hometown Christmas.... Photo Day #3

2011-12-03T20:15:00.004-07:00

Bozeman, Montana has been my home for my entire life. The Christmas decorations have not changed in well... forever. They may have been repaired or new ones constructed, but they remain the same. We all have a little different name for them, we call them the spiders. There are four different ones, above intersections on our main street downtown. Green, red, yellow and white. Tonight was our Christmas Stroll, so the lights were lit for the first time this season.

My Crazy Girl... Photo Day #2

2011-12-02T08:28:00.009-07:00

Gracie was a busy girl yesterday, and she did nothing but make this Momma proud... and make me laugh. I was able to leave work a bit early to watch the last half of her ballet class, then I took her to kid's choir practice. If you would have asked me even a year ago if she would participate in either of these activities, I would have said no way... but she is not only participating, she is thriving.. and loving every second of it. Now, is she the best dancer, or singer in the group.. uh...no, not really... but all of that doesn't matter... the only thing I see is her big smile! My heart just beams when I watch her progress.

Oh, and the flip-flops and the hot pink yoga pants... in December, yep.. that's my crazy girl! I asked her about the flip-flops in such cold weather, and she said they are easy to put on after dance.. and they remind her of Mexico!

Window Ice.... Photo Day #1

2011-12-01T12:57:00.004-07:00

Out my car window this morning.. no, I wasn't driving... just waiting for it to clear!

Photo Day...
Since I can't seem to get here to post much lately, I am trying this little jump-start. Since there are so many cool and fun things going on in December, I am going to take a random photo, with my phone and share with you what I see!

Another Month Gone By...

2011-12-01T12:44:00.002-07:00

Can you believe it is already December? Crazy! I am still out here in Montana... just busy with life and stuff... and not terribly motivated to post... not sure why. Who knows? Guess it doesn't really matter!

Anyway... Thanksgiving was fun, we ate WAY too much.. but there are such good cooks in the my husband's family. Kids are doing well, no major issues, so that makes this Momma's hear happy. Chris has been having some stomach issues, but we finally figured out after an upper endoscopy that he has an ulcer and bad reflux. He is on new meds, and he is already eating much more than he has the past few months.. which is good, he needed too. He lost nearly 30# since summer. Not good when you are a 16 yr old guy!

I am doing ok too. Still REALLY tired and sore most of the time, but I don't have time to complain too much. The biggest problem with how I feel, is how the house looks.. I guess it will get done eventually. I am waiting to see a rheumatologist after the first of the year since my ANA, CRP, and rheumatoid factor are all elevated. So, guess I will find out what all of that means.

One of my biggest pains right now is my knee. It is just trashed. I was kicked out of physical therapy because they couldn't do anything more, so the had me go back to my ortho guy. He agrees, my knee is really bad, so it needs to go. On December 28, I will be getting a new knee. As you may or may not know, my MIL got a new new on November 2.. by the same dr. It is hard not to feel like a copy-cat... but it is what it is. She has been a great example so.. makes things a little less nerve wracking. I am not even nervous... yet. I am just ready to get rid of the pain! Last night I was up most of the night because it just hurt too bad... they can cut the whole thing off it will help... well, not really!

Ok, since I am busy anyway, and the Christmas and upcoming surgery are not going to really help with finding time to get on here.. So, I am going to try something new, and hopefully easy. Each day in December I am going to take a random photo of something.. anything to share what I see in Our Montana Life. I am sure most photos will be not the best quality, since my cell phone camera is most likely what I will be using, since it will an on the fly, random kind of thing... but that is ok, this isn't a photo contest... So, watch for a photo a day from me... Well, who am I kidding, I will try for a photo a day.. we will see what actually happens!

In the meant time.. have a great day!

I Want to Go Home...

2011-11-09T15:55:00.003-07:00

But, I am way too tired to get out the door and walk to my car. Isn't that just the saddest thing you have ever heard? Sad, but true. Our Annual Conference is this week, which means we have 180+ people here from all over the state for meetings and such. That also means that my staff and I are extremely busy running around trying to ensure that everyone's technology needs are met, and little fires are kept to a minimum. I also had 2 workshops to prepare for and teach, and late nights at dinners and getting everything ready for the next day. Yikes... Tomorrow is the last day, so things will calm down. We have Friday off for Veteran's Day, and it is a good thing... I will need all three days to recover!

I just can't get over how darn tired I am! I have not been feeling the greatest either, so that doesn't help one bit. I have been doing PT for my arthritic knee, but last week I was pretty much kicked out by my therapist. He said there wasn't much more they could do until I had some other things figured out.. so they sent me to my primary doctor for more testing, and wrote a letter to my ortho guy letting him know what had been going on... or really, NOT going on with improvement.

They are concerned because my muscles, tendons and ligaments are so very tight, that they can not really work with my knee, let alone my back, and hips and such, which are contributing to the knee issue. In fact, the last day I was there, both of my knees where swollen, and sore, and my elbows were really swollen, hot, red and inflamed. That was when they decided that they are probably hurting me more than they are helping.

So, I have seen my primary Dr once already, and go back on Friday. The knee guy gets to see me tomorrow to figure out what to do with me. They have now taken 8 vials of blood from me and sent it off to testing. When I talked to the nurse on the phone, who told me I needed to come back for more this week, she said my blood work indicates that I have some sort of autoimmune disease, which is causing all the joint issues, and extreme fatigue, among other things. Okay, so maybe I am NOT just getting old and worn out.. maybe something really is going on.

So, I will keep you posted on what all these tests uncover. I am starting to think that all of my "ailments" are just pieces of a large puzzle, and perhaps I am about to see what that is. ... and MAYBE something can be done to help... Man, I sure hope so, because day by day, week by week, I am going downhill.. and I don't like it, and others are starting to notice.

Well, I guess I better drag myself home. I just want a really, really hot shower and my jammies and to go to bed... but I am going to have to figure out how to get through at least 4 more hours til the kiddos are in bed...hmmm... maybe 3? One can only hope :0)

Life is Great... just busy!

2011-10-28T10:41:00.003-06:00

Nope, I didn't fall off the face of the earth.. just crazy busy. I guess that really isn't a new thing is it? So, on that end, I am just popping in to say "Hey". We just got back from a fabulous week in Mazatlan, Mexico. We have been home since late Sunday.. and here it is Friday and I am still trying to get things back in order. You don't even want to know what the house looks like.. it is way out of control.. but tomorrow is Saturday, so by the end of tomorrow some of the chaos should be tamed a bit.. it better be, or I will have to move out to the camper :0)

Let' s just say, I am having a hard time getting back into the groove of things.. and I think I left my heart in Mexico! My pondering this week has been... if it is so hard to come back to "reality".. what needs to change in life to make that not so yucky?!?! Will be chewing on that one for awhile...

This first week home has seen a 16 yr old kid with an appendicitis scare and two trips to the doctor's office... a last minute Halloween costume crisis when my 6 yr old announced that his party was Friday (today) rather than Monday... a Family Promise Board Meeting, GEMS & CADETS, physical therapy. football practice a freezing football game, ballet, back to school and tons of makeup work, and trying to catch up at work, working nearly 40 hours in just 4 days! YIKES.. no wonder my house looks like a hurricane passed through

But, life is great... dreaming of Mexico, and feeling truly blessed! More later.. whenever later is!

Happy 16th Birthday Chris!

2011-09-30T14:08:00.003-06:00

Today we are celebrating another special Birthday in our family. Our son Christopher turns 16 today. This past year has been a roller coaster for him, and just when I thought it wasn't possible to love someone more... I do! He has come a long way, and continues to grow, and we are so very proud of him.

I won't go into details, I just can't yet. But let's just say, I am so thankful to God each and everyday that he is still here with us, and doing well. Each day is a blessing, and Chris, out of all my kids has taught me about unconditional love, and what is REALLY important in this life...

Love You Chris.. I may not have given birth to you 16 years ago today... but I don't doubt for one single minute that you are the child of my heart, and I am so glad God picked me out of all the women in the world to be YOUR Momma..... forever.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS!

Tonight we are heading to Gallatin Gateway, a little "town" about 12 miles south of here. We lived in Gallatin Gateway until Chris was 11, so we have lots of fond memories there. Shortly before we moved, they finally opened a pizza place. It is in the old post office, so they call it "Post Office Pizza"... a very small place run by a really cool guy. It is only open limited hours, since the guy runs it himself.. so I guess you would say it is open when he feels like working. May seem odd, but it is a really small place, and everyone knows everyone.. so it works. His food is outstanding! Everything is made there by scratch... and Chris will say it is the pizza in the world. So, we called and he is busily getting ready to serve 16 of us dinner tonight in honor of Chris' birthday... pretty cool. I am looking forward to an evening of fun and relaxation.. enjoying my amazing son!

Happy 16th Birthday Isaac!

2011-09-06T10:34:00.005-06:00

Today our son Isaac turns 16... and I don't know where the time has gone. Seems like not too long ago he was a scared 5 year old, walking into our home, and hearts for the first time.

Since he is turning 16, and not 6.. things are a bit different for his special day... more grown up I guess! We made him Blueberry waffles for breakfast, and are taking him out to dinner tonight.. just us, since it is a school/work night it is hard to get everyone together. He wants to go to Cafe Zydeco which could be best described as a local New Orleans/Cajun kind of place that has outstanding food. It has been awhile since we have been there, so it will be a nice change of pace. After dinner, he has requested cherry pie instead of cake.. so that is what we are going to do :0) Yum!

This weekend I told him I would pay for him and a friend to go see a movie.. or do something else fun to celebrate, and we are going to try and get some extended family together for a birthday dinner too... might as well stretch it out as much as he can!

It still amazes me that he is almost grown up. We are so proud of him, and the young man he is becoming. He has changed so much over the last year... it has been fun to watch. I am excited to see what the future has in store for Isaac... I am sure it will be great!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ISAAC!

Chris and Isaac playing in the sprinkler at Gramma Marty's house.. I think he was about 6 in this picture..

Isaac hanging out at the lake... Isaac does not like to get his picture taken and avoids it at all cost! This one is good... just wish he would have taken the sun glasses of so you could see his eyes :0)

I Am Running Away!

2011-09-01T15:53:00.007-06:00

Well, at least for a couple of days anyway. Gracie and I are leaving.. the guys have kicked us out of the house for the weekend... literally. Jim knows how stressed I have been, and how chaotic it can get, so he is planning a "man weekend" for him and the three boys, and my sweet girl and I are on our own. Now, it may seem like they should leave, and we stay at home.. but my husband knows me all too well. If I am at home, I will clean and do laundry and all that jazz... really not much of a rest.

I am okay with this, and actually looking forward to it. My only request of the guys was that they at least not make the house worse than it already is, and clean up after themselves. I don't care when they do it, as long as it gets done. The can do it an hour before we get back home for all I care:0)

Jim also told me I had to leave my phone at home, and I couldn't call and "check on them" or do work from my phone. Well, I can't do that... especially if it is just Gracie and I, but I did agree to turn the thing off, and only check for messages a couple times a day. I will try..

Gracie and I talked about our options for our "going homeless" weekend, and we have decided on a camping trip. I would love to go to a hotel, and eat out all weekend, but that is just not in the budget right now.. or in the near future I am afraid.. but camping will be really fun! We are planning to take our sweet brown dog with us as our protector.

Plus, it will be fun to prove that we girls can do it without the men! I am pretty sure we can handle it. I am a little concerned about backing up the trailer, and then hooking it up again when it is time to go home.. but my sweet hubby has agreed that if I get "stuck" and can't get hooked up when it is time to leave, that he will come rescue me! He has even offered to pull the trailer over and get it all setup for me.. what a guy!! Not sure though if I need him to do all that.. but I just might take him up on it :0)

Our plan for the weekend is to sleep, read, go swimming/floating, go on a short hike, build a fire, and eat the food WE want, without worrying about what the boys like... we might not even cook.. might have sandwiches all weekend.. who knows?!? We will decide later. Who knows what else we might do... but whatever we decide, it will be what we want to do!

They guys are also really excited for their weekend, and even more excited for us to leave.. hmmm.. wonder if I should take offense to that?!?!? They even gave us a "deadline" of when we "have" to be out.. of course all in fun.

Na, I am not offended.. I am going to run with it! It might be a new Labor Day Weekend Family tradition. Plus, I know at least my husband has good intentions.. the boys on the other hand will be happy to not have Mom home for a couple of days.. I am sure it is more fun that way.

**UPDATE**
Things just seem to be falling into place! Just talked to my Mom, and she offered to let us use their 5th wheel trailer up at the lake for the weekend. They rented a spot for the summer, and aren't going to be there this weekend. In fact, they just came home today. Everything is already setup, and the only thing we need to bring is our clothes and food. Can't beat that! Plus we can take advantage of all the comforts of home.. like hot/cold running water, an actual refrigerator, electricity, and air conditioning! If we get bored, we can even watch tv or a dvd. Yep, things are defiantly looking up for this weekend. I might not come home!

Food Allergies and School...

2011-08-26T11:06:00.003-06:00

Sam is our allergy kid. He is in first grade this year, so we have been busy getting him ready to head back to school. He has a few food allergies and some asthma, so we want to make sure everyone at the school is aware of what he needs to stay away from.

So, we started out the process at our pediatrician's office. Each year we have to update our food allergy and asthma action plans. Basically this amounts to a stack of paperwork that the doctor has to fill out and sign. It outlines exactly what he can and can't eat, and what steps to take if he does eat something he shouldn't. Same with the asthma, what triggers it, what to do if he as trouble. Then, there a bunch of forms to fill out for permission to give him medicine at school. The office has his benadryl, epi-pen and inhaler ready in case he needs it, so each of those meds has its own form to be filled out and signed. What a process. I think we were at the doctor for nearly 2 hours!

He also got his 6 year well child check up. He is healthy, and in the 95 the percentile for height! We knew he was a pretty healthy little guy, but it is good to have a professional give him the once over and agree. He is 49.5 inches tall and weighs 58 pounds.. which is perfect for his height. He did have to get a shot, so that wasn't too fun. He did great though. Gracie was with us, and I bet she wished she would have stayed home with Daddy... she had to get a shot too, and it wasn't even her doctor visit.. and she was NOT happy about that. Took 3 of us to hold her down to get it done... but once it was done, she admitted it was better than gettign sick.

This shot was for Hepatitis A. Now they recommend kiddos 12 - 18 months get it, but when they were little they didn't routinely do it. It isn't a requirement, but just a recommendation. Hep A is becoming more prevalent in the US.. and is pretty common in Mexico, so since we are taking the kids to Mexico in October, we decided they better get the shot. Ideally they would have 2 doses... 6 months apart, but this will certainly give them some immunity.

Anyway... back to the allergy kid. I gathered up all the paperwork and medicine and dropped them off at the school, only to discover that the pharmacy gave me a regular epi-pen rather than the epi-pen jr! Dang it... had to return the wrong one, and wait til the end of the day and go back to the pharmacy to get the new one, and then back to the school with the the correct one. Like I have time to be making 2 extra trips to the pharmacy! Wish people would just do their job right the first time! Not to mention that I paid nearly $200 bucks for the medicine.. AFTER insurance. Good thing I love him :0) Money is already tight at our house.. so this didn't help at all, but what do you do, he has to have his medicine!

I also had a chat with his classroom teacher, so she knows what is up. I think she pretty much agreed she just won't feed him.. which is great by me. I left a whole bunch of Sam Safe snacks in his classroom, with instructions to just let me know when he runs out, and I will send more. They also have him set to eat lunch at the peanut free table again. It is hard not to worry about him though.. I just want him to be safe!

Although, it sounds like he is doing a pretty good job of looking out for himself. Yesterday as they were going to gym class, he stopped his teacher and reminded her that he couldn't go until he had his "puffer"... meaning his inhaler.. Good for him!

SO... as you can see things are a bit chaotic in Our Montana Life right now.. and this is just for one kid. We are back to early morning craziness and after school madness with juggling appointments, practices and what not. We will get through it though.. just might take awhile to get into a routine again!

I Am Not Strong Enough...

2011-08-25T11:39:00.006-06:00

I just can't do this anymore! As you know from past posts, my plate is very full. Well, that plate as overflowed, fell on the floor and broke into a million little pieces. I am DONE. I just can't do all of "this" anymore.

It is hard to even talk about, since I try so hard to "play like" everything in my world is always perfect and wonderful. Today I am wondering why it is so easy to share the good.. and hide the bad. It just isn't "real". When I started this blog, my intent was to be nothing but real.. and somehow I have gotten away from that, only writing about things that are "okay".. but not the rest. I don't know how it happened.. probably because I have a hard time admitting things... even to myself. Maybe if I don't talk about it, it really isn't true.Ha! Wish it was that easy.

I have decided that enough is enough! I am done pretending, done not being "real" and done trying to "control" every part of my life. I am a control freak. I know it.. and I HATE it!! It's time to "Let Go and Let God" so to speak. SO, I am admitting it.. things are NOT okay for us right now.... but you know what, I am not going to keep going down the wrong road. Look out.. changes are coming.. and I know, life will be good again.. because it will be "real".

So, if you are easily offended, and only like to read about Polly-Anna good stuff.. you might want to stop reading this for a bit :0) Still not sure if this is the best "forum" for this.. not sure I want a public presence anymore. Do more than a couple of people even read this??! I am really struggling to put this all "out there" yet... I find the writing/journal-ling very therapeutic. And maybe, just maybe someone out there in blog land can understand "me" and have some good advice or words of encouragement.. who knows, time will tell!

Meanwhile... listen to this song. It's where I am at right now!

First Day of School

2011-08-24T10:09:00.003-06:00

Today is the first day of school for Belgrade kids... and for the most part I think we are ready to go. Guess we better be, since the big day is here! Sam is in the first grade, Gracie second and Chris and Isaac are in the 10th grade. I just realized that this is my 11th first day of school.. crazy how time flies by... I also realized that I have 11 more first days to go! Yikes. 22 years of kids in school. Perhaps I should have thought of that before having Sam when the big kids were 10...

Thankfully it wasn't too big of a crazy rush this morning. The big guys don't go to school to 1:00 today. I think they let the Freshman get used to the school before the older kids get there.. kinda nice actually. Anyway, they were dead asleep when the little ones had to get ready, so only half of the chaos! I am a little bummed though.. won't get pictures of the big kids going to school. I guess we will have to do it after. They would probably rather I didn't do it at all!

Morning went great... kids were up early, and happy and excited for school to start. I went in to work late today, so I could take them to school on the first day. Usually I have to leave before they do, so this was a treat for me.. and hopefully for them too :)

Gracie and Sam are in the same building this year, which means they have the same playground. So that worked out well. They wanted me to go with them to wait for the bell to ring, so I did, and it was fun to watch them reconnect with friends after the summer break. All seemed great until the bell rang. Uh oh.. both kiddos wanted me to go line up with them and watch them go in the building. Great.. except they line up on opposite sides of the building, Gracie in front, Samuel in back! A little moment of "Mommy Panic" there for a second. Dang it.. why didn't Daddy come with us?!?! To Jim's defense, he got home from work at 5 am and was sleeping pretty darn good at 8.. and I thought I would give him a break and let him sleep.

So, I just looked at Sam and Gracie and said "I can't line up with both of you".. so you are going to have to go in by yourself. My little independent guy Sam looked at me.. said "don't forget my hug and kiss"... I gave him some loves and he turned around and ran off after the other kids. Wow.. that was easy.

My sweet Gracie on the other hand was just about ready to throw up I think.. she looked terrified! So, since Sam was already running off, I grabbed her by the hand and said.. "come on sweetie... Mommy will go with you to line up".. I wasn't going to just walk away at point and leave her standing alone in the middle of the playground by herself. So, we walked around to the other side of the building with the other second graders, and found Mrs Sanders' line.

I tried to encourage her to get in line, but she just couldn't do it. She was trembling and starting to sort of "tune out" like she does... uh oh, this isn't going well, I thought. Mrs Sanders was talking to her class, and they were "on the move".. but Gracie was paralyzed. I wa kind of looking around, hoping one of Gracie's aides would come to the rescue.. but there weren't any around. Mrs Sanders did notice that Gracie was not okay.. and offered to "let" me walk her to the classroom. So that helped a little. I had to drag her up the stairs, but she did come with me. I was thinking the whole time.. am I ever going to be able to get to work today?!?!

Mrs Sanders waited for us at the door, and said, "It's probably best if you say goodbye to your Mom now". Gracie just about fell on the floor.. but I knew the teacher was right. So, I told Gracie I loved her, that I was proud of her, and would see her at our meeting spot at 3:15. By this time Mrs Sanders had her hands around Gracie's shoulders and just sort of pushed her in the classroom as I turned and walked away. I heard the door shut behind me.. along with Gracie screaming Mommy and crying... What a terrible feeling!! I HATED every second of it.. and I know Gracie did too. It was awful. Her new classmates were probably wondering what the heck was going on. But I know from past experience with kids, not just my own.. that is the best thing to do. Not that it is easy.. but if I would have went in the room and stayed longer, it would have been a bigger "scene" later. I trust her teacher, and I know that her occupational therapists and "helper" aide are at the school, ready to help when Mrs Sanders calls on them.. which I would bet she already did. I can also almost guarantee that Gracie will not speak a single word all day long...

Part of the issue I think is that her two best school friends and cousin Sydney are all in Mrs Reid's class.. which is next door to hers. She saw Maggie in line next to her this morning, but I think that just made it worse. She was looking all over for Sydney, on the playground, and in line, but didn't see him.. so I think she just felt really alone. Poor girl!

But, she and Sam are both at school now, and I am at my office. Oh what I wouldn't give to be able to take a peak into each classroom and see how they are doing! Can't wait for 3:15 to meet them and hear all about their day. My babies are growing up!

Celebrating Sam

2011-08-23T14:01:00.025-06:00

Like my previous post said... my baby boy turned 6 a couple of weeks back. Things have been crazy since, so I haven't had a chance to tell you about how we celebrated his special day.. and I really want to since we had such a great time!

Sam lucked out, with a Saturday birthday, so we celebrated all weekend! Friday night Sam had his "kids" party with his friends. He had a long list of things he wanted to do, but we did end up fitting most of it into the evening.. it was just a long party. Then the next day we packed up and headed out camping.. again just like Sam wanted! Just gotta love Our Montana Life! Here is a picture diary of his weekend!

We met at the local park for fun.. and a bbq picnic. Sam was pretty specific about what he wanted. Hot dogs, Doritos, grapes and "little pops" yep, lots of junk.. not much nutrition!

He opened up gifts from his friends.. lots of "Cars 2 Movie" toys :0) Just what he wanted for his Cars 2 Racing themed party!

Lazy Mom cupcake... you guessed it! I went to the store and BOUGHT cupcakes the night before... out of energy and out of time. The kids loved them.. I did feel a little guilt.. plus I know that they did have egg in them.. but Sam actually did okay.. just a small rash on his tummy.. and he only had 1.. so maybe he is outgrowing that.. who knows. He does okay, as long as it isn't everyday, and a ton at one time.

Friends having fun at the splash park. They also had fun at the "dry park" as Sam likes to call the regular park playground equipment!

After they played in the park for a bit, they changed clothes and we headed to the Gallatin Speedway to watch the stock car races. One of Sam's all time favorite things to do. He is a little car nut! All part of his "racing" party. It was also "kids night" that night, so it was extra special fun. Oh, and a bonus for Mom... kids are free at the races. Jim had to work, so Isaac and Uncle Steve and I took the kids! It was a ton of fun.

Since it was kids night, during intermission they had all the cars go on the track, and the kids got to meet the drivers, get pictures and autographs. More fun.

Checkered flags and ring pops for goodie bags.. Sam's special request. Note to self.. give them the flags at the end.. unless you want to get hit in the head with a flag over and over again... just kidding, they LOVED cheering and waving the flags!

Just when Sam thought it wouldn't get any better.... it did! The announcer had announced a Happy Birthday to Sam several times over the speaker.. and he loved it. They called him Sammy.. so he knew right away that was Aunt Linda's doing. She is good friends with the track owner, and also works at the races checking in cars and drivers on Friday nights.. and she calls him "Sammy".. has since the second he was born, literally! Well.. at one point they asked Sam to go up to the announcers booth. He was picked to hand out a trophy to one of the winners for his Birthday!! They gave him his own little trophy to take home too.. I can't even begin to describe how happy my boy.. and the rest of us were that night.

The gang... looking a little worn out by this point! But pretty excited that their friend was a celebrity that night!

Back to our house for a slumber party. One girl had to go home, but Sierra and Sydney stayed the night. They tried to watch the Cars movie..but since it was close to midnight, I don't think any of them made it 30 minutes.. they were big talkers about staying up all night though! Of course this was after a snack :)

Saturday started early.. a little too early.. I was tired before the day started. This was Sam's actual Birthday, and all that he wanted to do was go camping up to Storm Castle aka.. Squaw Creek. I have blogged about this place before.. so you can read about it here. Makes me happy that this place is special to my kids too. So, after we fed the kids and sent Sierra home, we packed up the kids and Sydney and headed up the canyon. We met Sydney's Dad (aka Uncle Steve) and my parents up there to go camping for the night, and to have Sam's "family" celebration. We had burgers cooked over the fire and other stuff to go with it. YUMMY!! I was too busy cooking and such to take photos.. but trust me it was good.. and I was starving!
Jim's Mom and Dad were even able to join us for dinner and the festivities for a bit in the evening. Just wish my sister and her family could have been there. They had already made plans to be out of town that weekend, since my niece only got one weekend a month off! Bummer.. but we celebrated again with them the following week.... stretching it out is good!

Opening presents in the mountains.

Oh may goodness.. Sam loved this toy from Gramma and Poppa.. he just about wore the thing out playing with it.. in the dirt, in the creek, all over! Sam was covered with dirt.. but I didn't have the heart to make him stop and stay out of the dirt.. it was is Birthday.. and he was so happy!

Sam's race car brownie cake. WAY chocolaty.. a little when a long way.. but of course he loved it!My happy birthday boy!We ended a great day around the campfire. Uncle Steve entertained the kids with some ghost stories.. and I must admit he was pretty darn entertaining. We roasted marshmallows and laughed and talked until we couldn't keep our eyes open.. and one by one, each of us headed of to sleep for the night. Mom made pancakes over the fire the next morning, and the guys all headed on a hike up to rat lake.. while I had a couple hours back at camp all by myself.. it was heaven.. I sat by the creek for a bit, then took a nap. It was awesome! I had wanted to go on the hike, but I was absolutely exhausted and just couldn't do it. The night before I had a long episode of A-fib with my heart, and it just wore me out, plus my chest was still kinda tight and such... didn't want to take the chance hiking, so the nap was the best idea ever.

Sam Turned 6!

2011-08-23T11:51:00.006-06:00

Our little man Sam turned 6 on August 13... where has the time gone? He is growing up into a feisty, active kid and we couldn't be happier. He is his own person, and knows what he likes. He has red hair.. and the red headed personality to go with it too. He is an amazing little boy, and I can't imagine life without him. He keeps us laughing... and pulling our hair out.. usually at the same time.

Samuel Michael... about a week old.

Sam... 6 years old!

Stuck Inside

2011-08-03T12:37:00.003-06:00

It is really hard to be at work this afternoon... wish I could be out and about with my family enjoying this beautiful day... but instead I am stuck inside at my desk. It is hard not to be jealous on days like this!

Chris and Isaac are out and about with a friend, and is family...actually they are all friends of ours too.. so that is great, and helps me not worry about what they are doing as much. They spent the night last night at their house, and today they are at Harrison Lake, water skiing, tubing, and just enjoying this beautiful Montana day. SO... of course I wish I was there too.

To be honest, it was nice after they left the house last night.. a little calmer, a little quieter.. almost felt like I got the night off :-) They have been a little bored this week.. so it is nice they had something fun to do.. and hopefully when they get home tonight, they will be really tired!

Jim took Gracie, Sam and Brody up in the mountains to play in the creek and have a picnic, and pan for some gold... his new found hobby. Would really love to be with them too.. darn it!

So everyone in my family is out having fun.. even the dog! Not that I want them to stay home and do nothing... of course not! I love that they are all having a fun, active day... I just wish I could go with them.. but, someone has to work I guess.

My turn is coming this weekend.. not sure what I am going to do... but you can bet it will be outside!

This Mom's Gotta Brag...

2011-08-01T13:35:00.008-06:00

Just popping in to brag about our son Chris. Although, I am certain that if he read this he would be irritated with me... he is not one for drawing attention to himself... and was a little "dis-pleased" that I had the audacity to share this very same link on Facebook. However, like I told him.. we are VERY proud of even little things.. and he may not think this is a huge deal, but to this Momma it is a huge deal! I am still trying to get used to "fickle" teenager mentality... just when I think I have it down... it changes!

So.. here it is :-) Chris is the one in the dark tank top/dark shorts. He appears a few times catching the ball.. and is refereed to as "glue fingers".... The clip about Belgrade High School Football is about half way in.. around 1:20 or so.. sorry you have to watch the whole thing. I tried to download and edit the video.. but the site won't let me download it. BTW the first kid they mention is a kid that has grown up with Chris, going to Sunday school together since they were 3 years old.. love small towns!

Watch it Here!!

Just Checking In

2011-07-27T16:37:00.002-06:00

I have a few minutes of quiet in the chaos, so thought I would pop in and give you all a little update about what has been going on in Our Montana Life.

First off, it has been crazy... but I guess in a good way. We continue with the almost daily dr and therapy appointments for Chris. The good news is that we are seeing some huge changes in a positive direction, so I would say it is very much worth the time, gas money and such.

I have been really busy as a board member of Family Promise. We are working on our "Home Tweet Home" birdhouse raffle, and it has been great to work with great people. We have 10 birdhouses that local artists have decorated for us. We will be raffling them off, and showing them off at events around town. The drawing will be held on October 14 at our Cardboard City event where the community is invited to sleep in the park outside in a box that they decorate.

We have been busy getting Chris ready for football. Summer football camp starts today and goes through July 30. The real work begins with two a day practices starting August 12. So... we spent an hour getting new football cleats yesterday. He had to try on a million pairs to make sure they fit good, worked with his orthotic shoe inserts.. etc. etc. We finally found a pair, and they really weren't to expensive. I was almost afraid to look at the price after we finally found the "perfect" ones.. afraid they would blow the budget and we would have to start all over. We lucked out though.. they were on sale! Then we had to move on to football gloves. Apparently those are pretty important too, since we had to spend 30 minutes checking those out. The bad part about them is that they usually don't last the whole season. We end up with a game pair and a practice pair.. and those darn things cost almost as much as the shoes do!

We still are not 100% sure how much he is going to play, given his troubles with school last spring. We are waiting to hear the outcome of his medial appeal. We know for sure he can practice and go to camp and all of that, so he is just going to give int 100% and be happy with what he gets to do. I am pretty proud of his attitude in pushing forward, knowing he may not be able to play as much, and at the level he would like.

We went earlier in the week and had him fitted for a new and improved brace for his bad knee. The doctor was very happy with his progress and the amount of strength he has built up in his legs. According to Chris, the new brace is amazing and makes him feel like he has a brand new knee... so hopefully he will have an injury free season. Haven't really had that since 6th grade.. so we are crossing our fingers!

Meanwhile we celebrated my little sisters 40th Birthday this past weekend. which was alot of fun. Not as crazy as I would have liked, but according to Linda, it was just perfect.. nice and low key! Work has been a zoo, and keeping me busy in the evenings after the kids go to bed.

My Place of Peace....

2011-07-19T09:39:00.011-06:00

This past weekend, I was blessed to be able to spend some time at my "place of peace". This is my most favorite place on earth. The place I want to be when things in life get tough, and I just need to be quiet and listen to God for a bit.

I remember when I was recovering from my health ordeal in 2003, I longed to be there.. to just "be" and take it all in, to find peace in chaos. It was the place I thought about during painful procedures, and lonely moments. I could hear the birds, smell the morning air, and hear the creek... and it really did help me get through some dark days.

This is also a place of fun and laughter, and memories. My family has been going up there long before I was born.. before my parents even met. Around every corner is a special memory. A memory of Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles who have since passed. Oh the stories that have been told around the campfire, or along a mountain road. Wish I could capture all them again!

It is amazing how the smell of the mud near a slow moving stream can bring up a memory, or the soft earth below my feet as we are walking up a trail can remind me of when I was a little kid. We used to gather little snail shells in the mossy areas beneath the millions of different kinds of green plants. It is so refreshing on a hot day... temps are 20-30 degrees cooler than down in the valley. Time seems to stand still too. We get up when we want, eat when we are hungry, and pretty much turn the rest of the world out. There is no cell phone service.. no texting.. nothing!

Our kids are learning to love this place too. As we explore the mountains, little springs, mountain lakes and rock formations, we are sharing our history, and creating our own special memories. Our son Sam wants to celebrate his 6th Birthday up there. My sister's birthday is July 20.. and we celebrated her special day up there more times that I can count.. so this makes my heart happy!

This past weekend, we brought an extra kid along with us. We love taking others up their to share our special place. Thomas is a friend of the boys.. well all of us really. He is a great kid, and is a wonderful influence on the boys... especially Chris. We took him up to "Rat Lake".. they caught frogs, found some cool rocks and had tons of laughs. Then they hiked to the top of Castle Rock.. pretty much to the top of the mountain!

I hope all of you have a special place to go to like my place of peace.

She Did It!

2011-07-14T08:59:00.010-06:00

Gracie finally learned to tie her shoes! I really don't have a clue what the appropriate age for learning to tie your shoes is, but my kids just don't seem to catch on as quickly as some. When I mention that fact to my Mom, she just chuckles, and tells me that the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. Apparently learning to tie my own shoes was a bit of a struggle.... along with riding a bike, and some other things... hey, I can't help it.. I am not good at puzzles, some games and such either. Just not something that brain is good at I guess.

We had been working with Gracie quite a bit this summer. She is 7 after all, so I am getting tired of tying her shoes for her! She has just had a hard time "getting it". Well, it seems that it may have more the "teacher" than the "learner".

This past weekend we were down in Billings, visiting my Aunt & Family, attending one cousin's baby shower. Gracie had worn her tennis shoes, and they kept coming untied... and Gracie kept asking me to tie them for her. Grace (my cousin Steve's daughter) asked Gracie why she didn't tie them herself... and Gracie just said, I don't know how. So... Grace simply stated oh, then I need to teach you how. So, both Graces sat down right there, and Grace proceeded to teach Gracie how to tie her shoes.. and SHE DID IT! I was so surprised, I almost jumped up and down right then and there. The thing is, Gracie taught her a completely different way to do it than I had been trying... which was obviously a better way for Gracie to learn.

She still needs to practice some more, because she still gets confused, but I am sure it will be old hat in no time.

Oh, and in case you didn't notice..we have two Grace's in our family. Grace Catherine (7) and my cousin Steve's girl Grace Ellen (8). The Gramma's... my Mom and Steve's Mom are twin sisters. Go figure! It does get confusing often. We do call our Grace, Gracie most of the time. But they also call the other Grace, Gracie once in awhile. So.. we use middle names alot... or lately Grace 1 and Grace 2. Since they are close in age, they are usually playing together, so most times they are right next to each other... and they both usually answer us too. Fun!

A Quick Check-in...

2011-07-13T10:53:00.002-06:00

A bit of a break in the action, so I thought I would give you a quick update on what is going on in Our Montana Life. The last few days... have been super crazy, and I am once again finding it hard to keep my head above water.

This afternoon and tomorrow morning my team and I are teaching a group of 24 teenagers how to make money online and be their own boss. So, we have been trying to get prepared for that. 8 hours to keep them occupied. I will let you know how that goes!

I am also getting ready for our planning retreat, which will take place all day Friday, so that has kept me busy as well.

Our dryer is still not working. Hopefully it will be by the end of the week. We are waiting for a new switch I guess. I spent a ton of time on Sunday dragging all of our laundry to the laundromat and getting it all done. Then, I spent the afternoon barley able to move from all the lifting and carting baskets around. Sam came and helped me.. and he really was a great helper, but there is only so much a 5 year old can do. It felt so good to have it all done though!

We are kicking around the idea of heading to the mountains this weekend for a short camping adventure. Sitting by the creek watching the water go by sounds like just the ticket to de-stress. right now. I need it... starting to get crabby!

Okay, well I guess my updating time is over.. gotta get up to a meeting. Just wanted to check in and let you know I am alive! I have some other news to update on when I have a bit more time.. so stay tuned!

Is this a Dream?!?

2011-07-08T09:56:00.007-06:00

Just a quick update to share some excitement... we get to go back to Mexico. Twice in one year... am I dreaming?!?! We are booked to go October 16 - 23... AND we get to take all four of the kids with us!

This trip is in honor of Jim's Gramma Liz, who passed away this past April. She just loved Mexico and if you look at any of the pictures from her time down there, the first thing you would notice is the great big smile on her face!

It gets even better... Jim's whole immediate family is going.. so we will have Gramma and Grampa, Uncle Steve, Cousin Sydney, Uncle Dave and Aunt Laura, and Jim's Aunt Irene.. (which, I claim as MY Aunt too.. because she is just THAT special. There will be 13 of us :0)

We are going to have a blast... making memories to last a lifetime. I can't wait to show the kids the amazing Mexican culture, and share with them this awesome place.

Oh.. and before you think that is it... there is one more thing I should mention. Like I said before, this trip is in honor of Gramma Liz... and because of Jim's Mom and Dad's amazing generosity, they are using some of the money Gramma left to them to finance the trip!

I MUST BE DREAMING!!

Fun Camping Photos

2011-07-07T15:55:00.002-06:00

Scrapbook personalized with Smilebox

First Camping Trip of the Year!

2011-07-07T10:49:00.005-06:00

This past weekend, we headed up to Canyon Ferry Lake for our first camping trip of the year. It was so much fun, we can't wait to do it again.. The next few posts are going to be camping related... since I have camping on the brain.. one of my most favorite things to do!

So, like I said, we packed up and headed to the lake. The kids and I left on Thursday (6/30) but Jim had to work and couldn't join us until Saturday. I did feel a little guilty... but not enough to stay home.. isn't that sad?!?! I had Thursday, Friday, and Monday off of work.. and was so ready to get out of town. The kids were too, so we decided we might as well go. I think Jim kinda enjoyed his time alone too!

This camping experience was a little different that our "normal", but still very much a fun time! Mom and Dad bought a 5th wheel trailer this spring, and had parked it up at Goose Bay Marina for the summer. They are getting older, and it is a bit easier to not have to drag the trailer and stuff around all the time to go camping.. plus there they have electricity and running water and sewer, so they can use the air conditioner and such if they need it... good for the... but not quite "camping" if you ask me!

We met Mom and Dad, along with my niece Madi and nephew Wyatt on Thursday, and Jim and My sister and brother in law came on Saturday like Jim did. My niece Meagan, who has her first job this summer at Dairy Queen, had to stay home and work all weekend...YUCK!! I tell you this whole work thing keeps getting in the way!

Jim helped us get loaded up... talk about chaos. I gotta tell you, about 3/4 of the way in getting ready to go, I was really questioning whether or not it was really worth it. Looking back on the weekend now though.. I would say it was worth it for sure. It just takes lots of work and organizing to back for 6 people and a dog to be away at the lake.. especially for the first trip of the year. It will be easier the rest of the season.

Jim offered to drive us to the lake and help us get setup (isn't he a sweetie?!?!) but even though I wanted him too, and it certainly would have been easier for me, it really wasn't necessary for him to wast his day, not to mention all the gas, just to drive me over there and setup the camper. So, I bit the bullet and pulled the trailer over there behind our van. It actually was fine. Just a few tense moments through some road construction over the Missouri River. We had some great conversations on the way too... that always makes Momma happy!!

Chris, Isaac and Sam told me they were we going to setup the camper.... they definitely had a surge of testosterone going that day.. they were going to "man it up" for sure. We have a tent trailer that takes some doing to setup, but the boys had help Jim enough that they actually knew more about it that I did... and of course they had a GREAT time pointing that out to me! They did a fantastic job, and we had camp setup in record time. When Jim got there on Saturday, he asked me why the camper wasn't level... and did I notice?!?! Well, of course I had noticed, but didn't have the heart to criticize the boys' handiwork when they were so proud and had worked so hard... even Sam helped a ton. I think he was in charge of turning down the jacks and such.. thus the sketchy leveling job. So... we spent the weekend a little wobbly and off kilter... but I didn't say a word to them!

Plus, we didn't have time to mess around with too much work... we had our swimsuits on and the tubes inflated and were in the lake within an hour and a half of arriving at the lake... not bad at all...

We had a great weekend of swimming, fishing, boating, driving the little jeep around, riding bikes, playing with the dogs, and eating a ton of awesome food.. oh, and sleeping, hanging out in the sun and around the campfire. It was awesome to spend so much time with my little sister. we had lots of laughs let me tell you! I just LOVED every moment of it, and can't wait to do it all over again. Great memories were made for sure! SO... I will leave you with my 10 of my most memorable moments of the weekend. I know there are way more than 10.. but I don't want to bore you to death.. oh, and they aren't really in any sort of order. Stay tuned for a slide show of pics I am working on... will post that as soon as I get a bit more time :0)

My Ten Memorable Moments...

Drinking coffee and visiting with Mom and my sister early in the morning before the kids woke up... and while the guys went out fishing in the boat.
Enjoying all the smiles and laughter from all kids playing with their cousins.. and enjoying themselves.. without any electronics :0)
Floating on the inner tube in the lake, letting my whole body just relax
Laughing at the kids and the 3-wheeled bike Mom and Dad have... they took turns giving each other rides in the big basket on the back end.. they had all of camp laughing at them!
Watching the sunset over the mountains, while we relaxed by the fire after a busy, fun-filled day
Seeing my husband pull up in his red car.. knowing he was finally with us.. feeling my heart skip a few beats :0)
Going out fishing in the boat with my 3 boys and my dad.. listening to him teach his grandsons about boating, and fishing.. and life.
Riding in the jeep along the little bumpy "roads" with my sister and all the kids in the back.. laughing our heads off at her trying to drive a 3-speed again!!
Making strawberry daiquiris.. in the camper, with my sister and NOT sharing them with anyone... well except Mom (the kids wanted virgin ones)... and making a HUGE mess :0)
Snuggling up at night with my littlest kiddos, looking into their eyes and just thanking GOD for my amazing life!

Happy 4th of July.... A Little Late!

2011-07-06T13:24:00.004-06:00

The last week has just flow by in a flurry of activity...never did get a chance to wish everyone a Happy 4th of July... so I'll do that now... better late than never, right!

I hope that you all were able to relax and spend some time with those who you love the most. It was a great weekend.. and we actually were able to drag it out to be a FIVE day weekend. I will tell you all about it in the next day or so.. when I catch up from my time away!

YOU are Stronger Than You Know!!

2011-06-28T08:38:00.004-06:00

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to RISE
From the ashes and make a NEW BEGINNING
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you're stronger, STRONGER THAN YOU KNOW
Don’t you give up now
The SUN will soon be SHINING
You gotta face the clouds
To find the SILVER LINING

I’ve seen DREAMS that move the mountains
HOPE that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen MIRACLES just happen
Silent PRAYERS get answered
Broken hearts become BRAND NEW
That’s what FAITH can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
IMPOSSIBLE IS NOT A WORD
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that STEP
Out on the water
It’ll be ALRIGHT
Life is SO MUCH MORE
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will FIND YOUR WAY
If you keep BELIEVING

I’ve seen DREAMS that move the mountains
HOPE that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen MIRACLES just happen
Silent PRAYERS get answered
Broken hearts become BRAND NEW
That’s what FAITH can do

OVERCOME THE ODDS
You don't have a chance
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that YOU CAN!

You can actually listen to this song below... GOD really spoke to my heart with this on my way to work this morning... hoping, and praying with all my heart HE speaks to you if you are walking through a hard time right now... thinking of one person in particular who really needs to hear this today.

Friday Afternoon....

2011-06-24T14:29:00.003-06:00

and it's pretty quiet around here. Typical Friday afternoon in the summer. Not too much going on, everyone is friendlier, more relaxed. I love it! I just got back from the store.. grabbed ice cream bars for everyone, and I am jut about to head out for the weekend... just 30 more minutes :0)

I am off to pick up my little guy and take him shopping for Sydney's birthday present. That will be an adventure in and of itself. No offense to Sam, if he ever reads this... BUT I do not like taking that little man shopping for anything near the toy isle. He takes FOREVER to pick anything out... and he has no concept of the cost of things. There are just way too many choices. This will be challenging too.. since we are shopping for his cousin, and not for him. I thought I could get away with just grabbing something on the way home, but he was heartbroken when I even suggested it. He has been looking forward to picking something out... so I don't want to disappoint him. Wish me luck! I will let you know how it goes. :*)

Later, we are attending said Birthday party for cake and presents, then some of us are heading out to see the new cars movie. The party starts at 5... so I am going to have to figure out how to get dinner into the kids ahead of time.. otherwise it will be nearly 10.. way too late for dinner. Might have to throw a sandwich at them real quick! Gracie is well enough to go to the party, but will have to miss the slumber party part. Sam is going to stay though... just talked to him, and he is packing up his stuff. He did get a little nervous when he realized Gracie wasn't staying... and that I wasn't either. Although I am sure he will forget all about us when he sees Sydney!

So... that is our evening in a nutshell. Tomorrow will be spent cleaning, and doing laundry and all the stuff I didn't get to this week while I was cuddling my sick little girl. Sunday we are going to another Birthday party BBQ for another nephew... then it will be back to work on Monday.. however, next week I am taking Thursday and Friday off for the long 4th of July weekend, so I will be off Thursday - Monday.... Canyon Ferry Lake... here we come!! I can't wait!

How's Gracie?

2011-06-23T10:26:00.004-06:00

Well, the short answer is she is still sick! But, she has progressed from the out of it, lethargic don't want to move from bed stage, to the whiny, bored, crabby tired of being sick stage..... so that is progress!

Late yesterday afternoon, when she woke up from a really long nap, we noticed that she had flat red spots on her arm.. on further investigation, we found the rash all over her entire body... some areas looking like a bad sunburn there were so many spots all blended together...and her skin felt like sandpaper! She wasn't itchy... thank goodness, but seeing your baby girl covered with spots is still a little disheartening! I called the dr, not sure if it was the penicillin she was reacting to or not. It was time for the next dose, and we didn't want to give it to her if it was a reaction to the medicine. I talked to the doctor, described what was going on, and she knew right away it was scarlet fever! Really?!?! She has this on top of strep throat??

Well, not really. Apparently scarlet fever is caused by the strep bacteria making toxins in the body, which are released by the skin, causing this type of rash. So, the same strep bug, just moving around from her throat to the rest of her body. The treatment is still the same, we just need to wait for the antibiotics to kick in... which I think they are starting too, thankfully!

This morning she is doing better than she has the last couple of days. I actually got a smile this morning... haven't seen that since Sunday :(. Her fever is still there, but down significantly. She is drinking more too, and actually ate a couple bites of food... I know I always feel better when I eat! The rash is still there, but fading a bit... and she can be somewhere besides a really dark room without crying that her eyes are hurting!

I think she has turned a corner, and is on the downside of this. I sure hope so, we have our nephew's Birthday party tomorrow evening, and she is really looking forward to that, crossing my fingers she is well enough to go. She will have been on the antibiotics long enough to no longer be contagious, but not sure she will feel up to leaving the house.. if it was today she couldn't go, but a lot can change with kids in 24 hours. I REALLY hope she didn't give it to everyone on Father's Day... we knew she wasn't feeling well.. but had no idea she had this nasty bug. (So, if you saw her last Sunday... we are really sorry if you get sick, and are praying daily that you don't)

For the Birthday celebration, we are meeting for cake and presents, then going to the new Cars 2 movie. They are supposed to be sleeping over with their cousin after the movie... BUT I think I am going to be the "bad Mommy" and have Gracie come home after... assuming she is well enough to go to the party and movie in the first place. I just don't want to push it, and we all know how much sleep happens at a kid slumber party!

Playing Doctor....

2011-06-22T09:43:00.010-06:00

The "crud" has hit our house... Strep Throat to be exact. Sam was sick first, and now it is Gracie's turn. She is going on day # 5... yikes! I am sure that it will make the rounds through all 6 of us before the bug leaves our house. That's how it usually works anyway!

Sam was sick a week ago. I thought it was just an ordinary kid virus.. now I am not so sure. He didn't complain of a sore throat.. but that kid doesn't complain about much. He had a high fever, headache and threw up a couple of times, but was better after two or three days he was back to his normal "Sam Self". When Gracie first got sick, I thought for sure it was the same bug... started out the same anyway, however she just didn't get better like he did... in fact she has gotten a little worse each day. Poor girl.

On Monday evening, I had decided that if she wasn't better Tuesday, she was going to the doctor. So, when she woke up Tuesday morning with a 103.4 degree fever, and looking like heck.. I called the doctor. So, off we went.. explaining symptoms of high fever, headache, tummy ache, throwing up, not wanting to eat/drink, sensitivity to light, and a throat that in Gracie's words, "felt kinda tight". Poor thing just wanted to lay on the couch or in "Mommies Bed".

The doctor checked her out, but as soon as she looked at her throat, she knew what was going on. Her "tight throat" looked awful, and had a nasty smell to top it off... GROSS... is what the doctor said... no wonder she doesn't want to eat or drink :( I had tried to look in there on Monday night, but she would gag every time I tried. A rapid strep test confirmed it... strep throat. Not fun, but a relatively simple thing to cure. SO, we headed to the way home.... hopeful that she will feel better in a couple days.

Now, the problem is trying to figure out how to get the antibiotics in her. The first dose, she threw up almost as quickly as she swallowed it. I tried to mix it with applesauce and juice... both a fail. She did manage to choke it down in some yogurt... but I am not sure she go the entire dose down. We are wasting more than she is getting. Hoping that they give a "little extra" or we are going to run out before her 10 days are up!

We are trying to get the medicine in her again this morning... it is a twice a day deal. So far, no luck at all. She said the yogurt made her tummy hurt, so she won't eat that now... more wasted medicine. If we force it into her, she just throws it up :/0 Not to mention the fact that she is NOT any better than yesterday... temp back up this morning over 103. So... if she can't take it, we will have to head back to see the doctor today... for a shot.... which the thought of makes Gracie hysterical.. but we may have no choice :(

Just wish I was at HOME.... Mommy's should have to work when their kiddos are sick... but this day in age, that just doesn't work so well. She his home with her Daddy and brothers, so she is well taken care of, but it isn't the same. I have just had to miss way too much work lately to stay home when it really isn't necessary... you can bet that I will be making a quick trip home over my lunch hour though :0)

This too shall pass... just another day in Our Montana Life!

**Good News Update** Things are looking up....Daddy was able to get her to take her medicine in some applesauce. :) He mixed the antibiotic, ibuprofen and applesauce all up and gave her a straw. Yay for Gracie.. and for Daddy too!

VBS Fun!

2011-06-17T11:56:00.002-06:00

Here is a short video that they made of the kids at Vacation Bible School last week.... watch close and you will get a glimpse of both Gracie and Sam :0)

A Milestone Day....

2011-06-15T14:54:00.003-06:00

Today our son Chris got his drivers license! He is the first one of our kids to be an official legal driver, and I sure have mixed feelings about it. Half of me is shaking in fear... the other half is jumping for joy... talk about being conflicted :0)

Don't get me wrong, I am extremely proud of him, and excited for him that he has reached this huge milestone in life. Plus, it will really make things easier for all of us. He has several appointments each week that we ferry him back and forth to, so it will be really nice if he can just drive himself. He is already excited to help with take his little brother and sister places, and to run errands and such... although I am sure that excitement will fade in time :0) It doesn't hurt that he is a pretty good driver.

On the other hand, I am truly scared to death, and hoping we made the right decision. He is a teenage boy, 15 years old seems so young to be driving... even though I got my license when I was 15. There are reasons why insurance is more expensive for teenage boys! I just want my boy safe. Not to mention, he has not exactly been the best example of a model kid the last several months, so that is certainly in the back of my mind... every second.

However, he has been doing EXCELLENT the last couple of months, and we need to reward that behavior and give him some responsibility. He took drivers ed last July, so his permit expires July 13, and if he didn't get his license soon, he would have to retake it.... and pay the money again. So, we decided to go ahead and let him get it.... knowing that we can have it revoked if we need to... God forbid anything should happen.

So... we all move to the next chapter... life with a teenage driver... prayers appreciated :0)

What's New?!?!

2011-06-14T12:00:00.003-06:00

Well, really not too much, so that is a good thing! Here are some tidbits of the happenings in Our Montana Life:

This week the kids are participating in Vacation Bible School and having a fantastic time. Monday was the first day, and it goes through Thursday, when they end with a bbq at 6 pm, followed by a special service. They had so much fun, the couldn't stop talking about it yesterday afternoon... so today the neighbor girls are going, they just had to see what all the fuss was about Of course that made Gracie and Sam even more excited! They are using an army theme.. so everything is camouflage and and army related. Last night Gracie and Sam were marching around singing some song about being in God's army... Loved It! They have been invited to participate in another vbs next week, but I am not sure about that one. We are doing this one, because it is at the church we have been going to, but I don't want to use vbs as a daycare either :0) Who knows... we just might though.. they love it so much! Will have to think about that one.

Speaking of Church... I think we may have just found our new church home. If you remember from one of my Easter posts you may remember that we have been doing some "soul searching" of sorts, waiting for God's leading on where our family should be at this stage of our lives. It has become very apparent that we need to put the "church planting" adventure on the back burner for now, as we must free up some time and energy to attend to the needs of the family that God has blessed us with. So, on that end we have been searching for a new church home, and have visited several different options. A few Sundays ago, God lead us to C3 Church. This church has literally been in our backyard this whole time. It literally takes 3 minutes to drive there, or 10 minutes to walk. Perfect! We had been seriously considering a larger church in Bozeman, and overall really liked it, but just couldn't get over the fact that it was just too big. We want to go to a church where the Pastor actually knows who we are. This church is very similar to the larger one... but it is in our neighborhood, and on our first visit, the Pastor took the time to visit with us before the service. The funny thing is... he was very welcoming and warm, but he looked like a regular guy... and didn't mention in our conversation that he just happened to be the Pastor! Kinda cool! Oh, and one more thing that I thought was great. They recognize that summer is really short here in Montana, so during the summer they add a regular service on Thursday evening... so you can still enjoy time doing outside stuff on the weekends, but not have to chose between that and church. Pretty cool... and right up our alley for sure. So... stay tuned... but my heart tells me that this is IT!!!! Oh, and did I mention that they have a fantastic HS youth group... with Belgrade High School kids?!?! Ok, I am done with that for now.. but can you tell I am excited?!

Well, as usual, this is already long!! Guess I just don't know how to be brief... so I will stick to bullet points for the rest of our "tidbit" happenings...

We are making plans to spoil our Dads and of course our most special Dad of all Jim this weekend for Father's Day. Not sure exactly how things will work out... I will let you know
I really have "camping fever" and NEED to get out into the mountains or sit by the lake... but the weather has not been very cooperative.
Our garden is starting to sprout and the lawn is look pretty good... well, it would look much better without all the kids toys and such scattered about... but there will be time for that later.. when they all move out.
The teenagers are all ready getting bored... they are driving me nuts, the do not have enough to do... and I think we are soon to have a battle over the &$@* video game system! They need jobs... but those are hard to come by... especially when you are 15! They enjoy being lazy all day.. and staying up most of the night... and to be honest their Dad isn't helping the situation much.. so Mom has to be the bad guy! Dang I HATE that!! So... if any of you out in blog land have any work you need done around your place... let me know!

Gracie Turned 7!

2011-06-10T11:13:00.020-06:00

Yep, my baby girl is 7... actually has been for a few months now. Her special day was clear back on April 29. This is one of the posts that sort of "got lost in the shuffle" of life the past few months.

Time has sure flown by... well at first "thought" anyway. When I really think about it and all that we have gone through the last several years.. it feels like a lifetime since we spent the summer in Salt Lake City with her. I am so proud of the girl she is becoming, she is amazing, and is so much fun! As my only daughter, she will always have a special little spot in my heart... and I am certain that "spot" is pink and purple!

On her actual birthday we spoiled her with bear pancakes for breakfast, lunch with her at school, shared treats at a special party at girl scouts and had a pizza party for the family, but this year she wanted to have a slumber party with her friends... and only girls! Yep, she is getting to that age... SO super cute! She invited 4 of her girlfriends, so there were 5 girls total. To be honest I was a tad nervous about having an "odd" number of girls, ideally we would have had an even number to avoid any issues with someone not having a "partner" but it all seemed to work out ok. Here were just a few "interesting" moments.

Our house is not that big. It works great for just us, and for friends to come and play, but not so great for 4 extra little girls for the night. Can't really kick the guys out of the house for the night. So, we decided to take the girls to the Homewood Suites here in Bozeman. It is an all suite hotel, so we had a huge room with a kitchen, bedroom and living room... plus a great breakfast and a pool for only $100... couldn't really do much at home or another party venue for that. It worked out so good... we will be doing that again for sure! The staff treated us so well, and the place was very nice and clean. If you ever need a hotel in Bozeman.. this is the place I would recommend.

My niece Madi agreed to be my "Mother's Helper" for the night. Gracie adores her.. so that worked out perfect. Plus, Madi is only 13... not an old lady like me, so still really fun! I picked up Madi early, and she helped Gracie and I decorate and get everything ready for the party, then all the girls gathered at 5 pm. Well... I had to go pick up the 3 neighbor girls, because the Mom's were busy... or something, but the one girl, Maggie met us there.

Maggie's Mom wasn't so sure her daughter would stay the night, since the whole sleepover thing was brand new... plus the girls really are kinda young. So, the plan was for her to stay until 11, when her Mom was done with the late movie. The other 3 girls live near us, and are at our house all the time... so they were fine with staying overnight. They practically live at our house anyway... and have for years, so they are used to me.

The evening was fantastic! We had a really good time... and Gracie smiled the entire time! Here are some pictures of our great night.... oh, and when Maggie's Mom came to get her at 11... she didn't want to leave... so her Mom let her stay... A really big milestone for Maggie... her Mom was a little "teary eyed" when she left... our babies are growing up. About 30 minutes later, I texted her Mom a picture of Gracie and Maggie snuggled up together, sound asleep... and told her not to worry!

Waiting in the lobby for one more girl!

Dancing with streamers and music!

Decorating T-Shirts with fabric markers

OMG.... look at that mess...

Heading down to the pool!

Swimming... they had tons of fun. Could hardly keep them out of the pool

Pizza time... those girls ate, and ate... should bought another pizza :0)

Cupcakes

Happy Birthday... now let's go back to the pool...

Finger/Toe Nail Polish time.. we had some pretty "interesting" colors...

Move time.. they watched "Tangled" and ate popcorn and M&Ms

They were practically asleep before their heads hit their pillows!

Good morning ladies... ready to get breakfast in their new shirts!

Breakfast.. before one last swim :0)

Goodie Boxes to take home!

To see all of the pictures from the party CLICK HERE

Date Night!

2011-06-09T08:16:00.003-06:00

On Tuesday evening, my little man Sam asked me out on a date! Things have been crazy at our house lately, so I think he really needed some one-on-one time with Mommy. So, we agreed that the next day, after work, we would have our date.. just me and him.

He was so excited. Wednesday morning when said goodbye to him before I left for work, he said "don't forget our date tonight"... how could I ever forget something so important!

Jim dropped him off at my office around 4:30, since he was in town to drop Chris off for one of his many appointments. Worked out great, and I didn't have to waste gas driving home to pick him up and then back into town. He was beaming when he walked in my office. He is such a sweet little boy... just warms my heart! We just went to Applebees for dinner, then decided to walk around Kmart for a bit, nothing too over the top exciting, but Sam loved it! Originally we were going to go play at the park, or do something outside, but of course, it was raining, so we couldn't don anything outside. Bummer! So darn sick of this rain. So... we settled for Kmart... not too exciting, but we did find some great kids clothes on clearance.. and Sam's sweet smile scored him a matchbox toy airplane. He was happy, I was happy... guess that is the most important thing.

Wen we left, my boy announced..."ok, Mommy the date is over now", I want to go home and show Chris my airplane and play. Ok then... date over! Aren't kids funny?!

First Grade Field Trip!

2011-06-08T11:43:00.018-06:00

The kids have been out of school now for almost a week, but the day before the last day of school, the first graders had the opportunity go on an end of year field trip... and it was certainly a fantastic way for Gracie and her friends to end the year. Such a great day!

I went along on the as a "parent helper"... but really I was there to be "Gracie's helper". If you have been reading this for any length of time, you probably know that Gracie has her own set of challenges, and the school just wanted to make sure she had the best day possible. I was a little reluctant to go, since I had taken the entire week before off of work to be in Billings with Gracie's brother, but one of us needed to go... and since Jim gets off work at 5 am, I didn't think he would be the best choice to hang out all day with a bunch of excited 6 & 7 year olds... he might have been a little groggy... and crabby! Not that I am complaining... I wanted to go! I love spending time with my girl and her friends. The hardest part was explaining to Sam that he didn't get to go on big sisters field trip... and that I was going. He was a little ( OK alot) jealous!

We spent the day in the foothills near Bozeman at the Montana Outdoor Science School (MOSS). There were 3 classes of first graders that went up from our school that particular day, and they were so excited! We rode up on school buses.. which Gracie loved, since she doesn't get to ride the bus to school.

Fun on the bus with her best friend Maggie!

The night before, we had packed our backpacks with a sack lunch, water, snacks, rain gear and extra sweatshirt. I was prepared with band-aids, first aid cream, an emergency ice pack, bug spray and Gracie's inhaler. Gracie even brought her umbrella.. we were all set. Isaac asked how many days were were staying, and how far the hike was... since we were cramming so much in our backpacks! I told him it was just for the day, and a short hike... he just laughed! I told him that a Mom has to be prepared for everything! I didn't want to admit that I hoped the hike wasn't too far... since my backpack was HEAVY!!

I remember going on field trips as a kid, and this may sound weird, but one of the highlights of the trip was packing a special lunch for the day... and I could see that same excitement in Gracie. We went to the grocery store and picked out special snacks and such...her favorite was the trail mix... since we can't have it at home much due to Sam's peanut allergy. Who knew that a $3 bag of trail mix would make her so happy?!?!

Gathered up to hear the rules for the day!

At the MOSS, the kids stayed with their respective classes, and moved through different outdoor stations. The first was all about fish. The kids learned about different types of fish, fish anatomy, and the difference between native and non-native fish. They had a kid put on a fish costume, part by part, describing each part, like dorsal fin, swim bladder, gills and such. Very fun! Then they played a game where they had to run around and gather up different types of fish food. It was not only fun, but very educational... I learned things about fish that I didn't know!

Learning about fish!

Getting ready for a game!

Next, our group went to the water ecology station. Here the kids learned about healthy streams, and insects and plants that live near the stream. They explored the area, drawing their observations, then looked for the insects. I think this was Gracie's favorite part. She got right in there, and loved every second of it. Her teacher commented on how great she was doing being outside, and with me there... I have always know she was an outdoor girl! She was raising her hand, answering questions and helping her peers... something she hasn't done at school yet. Her teacher was impressed... not saying I wasn't too... but that is the Gracie I see at home!

We had a picnic lunch next. It was fun, and the sun had come out and it was just nice to sit and visit with the kids and teachers and relax a bit. After we ate, we played some games with the kids wile we waited for the next session. During that time, it occurred to me that I hadn't worried or stressed about anything all morning... I was just enjoying the time outside... a great feeling. I even turned my phone off!

Exploring nature

Our little scientist!

So happy checking out the water!

After lunch, it was time for our group to go on the hike up Drinking Horse Trail. It was a beautiful hike, and our leader stopped along the way to show the kids things and teach along the way. It was obvious that some of the kids had never gone out in the mountains or on a hike. They had so many questions, and were so excited. It was really fun to watch. Gracie was a trooper and kept right up with the group. Her new inhaler has made a huge difference, so thankful for that. My heart did ok too. I was a little worried, but we went slow enough, and stopped often, so it wasn't an issue. The kids had observation journals that they worked on along the way too. The hike was really good for me, I loved just being out and about... away from "the real world" for the afternoon. I plan on doing that at least once a week this summer... even if it is just a short hike.

Gracie and her friend Caitlin at lunch!

Beautiful View

At the end of the day, the kids were exhausted... and very happy! I am so glad that I was able to go and have some fun with Gracie and her friends. Well worth the work that I left on my desk that day! Gotta enjoy time with my daughter while she still wants me around :0) Precious memories... time goes by so fast, gotta cherish each moment! I did take more photos of the day.. to see all of them CLICK HERE!

Summer Vacation!

2011-06-06T14:06:00.002-06:00

Summer vacation is here! My kids couldn't be happier! The best part of summer vacation for me is not having to get all 4 of them up and ready in the morning for school, which makes my mornings before work pretty quiet... which I like. I also really enjoy not having to worry about who has homework, lunch money, and what not. Really nice to have a little stress and responsibility taken off of my shoulders.

On the other hand, I do get kinda sad too. I wish more than anything I could be home with the kids instead of stuck at work. Oh, the things we could do! But, I guess it just isn't in the cards for that to happen. I am just thankful that Jim can work at night so he can be the during the day., and we don't have the stress and expense of summer daycare. Just wish we could see each other more than on the weekends! I kinda like being with the guy! But that is our choice, our kids come first... we will have forever together when our kiddos leave the nest.

Sounds like the kids (and neighbor kids) are busy pretending to go camping in the backyard today... and have drug a bunch of blankets outside to make tents. Don't you wish you were a kid again?!?!

Today my goal is to reserect the "Chore Chart". I am certainly not going to go home and work my rear end off at the end of the day while the kids are lounging around. During the school year they don't have as many things to do, since they are busy with school and homework and such, but summer is a different story! Our goal is to get most of the chores done during the week, so when we are all home on the weekend we can enjoy the Montana outdoors! They each get an allowance based on the number of points they earn during the week. Saturday is pay day.. and they kinda like that. Each of my kids is different. Some love to work, and seek out extra stuff to earn more points... others have to be reminded that they don't want to be the only one that doesn't get paid on Saturday!

This weekend was a good start to Montana summer fun.... well Sunday anyway. Saturday we worked our tails off getting the garden tilled and planted, as well as the yard mowed and such for the summer. By the end of the day we were all pretty tired.. but still managed to have a campfire and cookout in the backyard. Fun times.. lots of memories! Yesterday (Sunday) we went to church in the morning, then went home packed up some snacks, water bottles and sunscreen and headed to the mountains for a short hike.

We had a great time, and it was obvious that Chris and Isaac are in MUCH better shape than I am.... Ok, that is NOT a surprise at all :). The best part is that all 6 of us and the dog shared a great afternoon in the sunshine, doing something together as a family. We were all hot and sweaty by the end, so finished the day off at the local splash park, followed by a bbq on the patio... and we ate outside for the second night in a row! I LOVE this time of year... makes my heart happy!

Back to Our CRAZY Montana Life!

2011-05-31T13:28:00.002-06:00

We are back... spent all of last week in Billings with our son. A very long, emotional week, but worth every second. Our Memorial Day weekend was very relaxed and quiet. Everyone here is so sick and tired of the rain, but I was happy that the weather was cold and rainy! Gave me an excuse to just relax and regroup. Can't say that things are "ok" or anywhere near back to "normal"... whatever that looks like these days, but the weekend gave me a nudge in the right direction.

Saturday we slept in late, and puttered around cleaning the house and working in the yard. The sun came long enough for a trip to the local nursery with Gracie and Sam. We picked out some flowers, and brought them home and filled some of the outdoor planters. Good therapy to work in the dirt! We got everything mowed and trimmed and a start on getting rid of all of these dandelions... which I hate with a passion... that's my Dad's fault!

Just about as soon as we came in from working outside, it clouded up and started raining and was too yucky to be outside. So...we took a "family nap"... I know, kinda pathetic, but we all needed it. It looked like some sort of daytime slumber party in our living room.. but my heart was happy :0)

On Sunday we went to a friends' house for a BBQ... well it was supposed to be a BBQ anyway. It was raining too hard to do much more than run from the car to the door... so we ended up with an indoor BBQ, but it was fun none the less. Instead of playing outdoor games, we played a really fun game in the house, and ate great food and visited. A really nice relaxing escape from normal life. All four of our kids had a great time too, since there were kids of all ages. We met some new friends, and were very happy we had decided to go. Saturday night we just watched a movie together... well they watched... I fell asleep on the couch :0)

Monday we went to the cemetery for Memorial Day and visited some of our family graves, leaving marigolds planted where we visited. Again, it was pretty cold and rainy out... so we took "the long way" home and just enjoyed the scenery from the car. The rain is annoying, but it is making everything really green! Once we got home, the guys built a campfire in the backyard and we roasted hot dogs for a quick dinner. The guys stayed out later in the evening having their "man time"... and Gracie and I took a long bubble bath and spoiled ourselves! All in all... a good weekend to take a bit of a pause.

Now it is Tuesday and the week ahead is crazy busy again. Each day is filled to the brim with dr appointments, therapy appointments, baseball and field trips... but the last day of school is Friday! I can't wait... and I know my kids can't either. Just wish I was off for the summer too!

I still have some things to update about... but will do that another day.

A Little Scare...

2011-05-20T13:30:00.005-06:00

Finally Friday... "do-over"! I am so happy today is Friday, and the sad part is the one single thing that I am looking forward to is sleeping in... don't I lead such an exciting life? I guess it doesn't take much to make me happy lately.

Last Friday didn't turn out quite like I thought it would, so today is my do-over day! Last Friday morning I woke up as usual, actually before my alarm went off even. It was a sunny morning, the birds were singing and all in all it was a good morning. All of the kids were happy when they woke up, and the morning went smoothly... I was awake, pretty rested and happily looking forward to the weekend ahead. I left for work around 7:30, listening to my music all the way to town. Life was great... for a little while anyway.

Just a block away from my office, I suddenly started feeling really strange. It was a good thing I was close... pretty sure I couldn't have driven very far after that. I managed to park the van, and walk into my building. Luckily it is summer and the students are gone, so parking is great.

In my mind I was trying to convince myself that I was just fine, and probably paranoid. I was going to give it a few minutes, sure I would feel better. One of my coworkers/good friend is an EMT. His office is right next door to mine. For the last few weeks we have been gathering an emergency medical kit for our building so knew he had a blood pressure cuff. I was just going to have him check my bp and my pulse... until I remembered he was gone on vacation. Darn it..

By this time I was getting scared. I no longer thought I was making something out of nothing... and was to the point where I didn't really care who saw me... I needed help! My heart was pounding in my chest, with a very chaotic rhythm. My chest hurt like no other, with an incredible pressure, my left shoulder and arm hurt, my hands were tingling. I was very short of breath, and light headed. I thought I could be having a heart attack!

My good friend Terri's office is right next to mine. So, without thinking, I just walked into her office and pretty rudely told her to get off the phone. I still am not sure how she was talking to, but she just said "I gotta go" and hung up... hope it wasn't a customer! I guess at the time (and still) didn't really care! She took one look at me, told me to sit down, and asked me what was wrong... "you look like hell"... that's cuz "I feel like hell!". I quickly told her what was going on, and she asked if she should call 911 - I said no, I think I am ok right now... but I need you to take me to the ER... so we left.... didn't tell anyone we were leaving or where we were going. Looking back I can clearly see that was not the wisest decision we could have made. She should have called 911...but I thought thought I would be ok... and I just didn't want all the attention and commotion at work! Once again... worrying that I would be judged. I really needed Mr EMT there... he would have just called the darn ambulance I am certain.

So, we got to the ER in record time... Terri told me later she was scared to death. I must have looked less than stellar when I walked in, because they let me skip the whole triage part and go right back.. to a trauma room no less. The only thing Terri aid to them was... chest pain... then they took one look at me, and that was it.

As soon as I was on the gurney, the pretty much ripped my shirt off and hooked me up to their monitor. My heart rate was 194 and my blood pressure was 62/54... no wonder I didn't feel good! Next thing I know... Terri is asked to wait in the waiting room, I am having an EKG, someone is yelling, we need a central line, another person is holding an oxygen mask on my face and I am starting to get really dizzy.. and sort of unaware of what was going on.

I heard the tech call out "she's in a-fib"... and then a doctor asked for a bollus of some sort of medicine via a shot in my IV, and another sort of drip medicine in my IV. Holy cow... I was beyond scared... but not really, since I was so lightheaded and woozy... and nauseous. During that time, they kept telling the respiratory tech to increase my O2.. and all the alarms kept going off for the heart rate, bp and O2 sats... very chaotic for sure.

Not sure how much time passed... 30 -45 minutes maybe, but things calmed down a bit. The doctor explained what was going on, and the medicine started to calm my heart down. a bit, and they let Terri come back in the room. She said she had tried to call Jim, but figured he was sleeping after working all night, so she had her Dad (our neighbor) go to our house and wake him up. Terri has the coldest hands of anyone I know.. and when she put her hand on my forehead my heart rate would go down a bit... but when she moved it, it would go up again... needless to say, she stayed close! My heart rate kept spiking up... once to 224... which caused the chaos to start all over again.. nurses and doctors running in, and more shots of medicine... to "encourage" the rate to go down... scary stuff! Plus, when it did that it felt like the op of my head was going to just shoot off from all the pressure.

After a couple of hours, and chest xrays, more EKGs and blood testes, my heart rate was down to a more manageable 150's... still not good, but not life threatening at that point. Somewhere in there I was given aspirin and lovenox blood thinners.... I guess a-fib can cause a stroke... YIKES that is definitely not good. They had called my primary care doctor and the cardiologist and they were deciding what to do.. but said I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

That was NOT what I wanted to hear.. we were supposed to go to Billings the next day for my son, and I couldn't miss that... just thinking about it made my heart rate go up... so I had to stop... if you know me at all, NOT an easy thing to do! Thankfully Jim and Terri.. and Mary Fran another coworker got me to thinking of other, calmer things :0)

So, it seemed the medicine was starting to work... but I was staying overnight.. dang it! I was moved and settled into my room, and my dr came to visit me on her lunch hour and told me what the heart doctor was thinking. More tests in the afternoon, including an echocardiogram and blood work every 6 hours to make sure I didn't have a heart attack. Once I was "stable" Jim went home to try and get some sleep. He had been at work til 5 in the am.. and he needed at least a little sleep, so he could pickup the kids after school.

By early afternoon.. maybe somewhere around 2:00 my heart "converted" back into the normal sinus rythm.. and I was feeling MUCH better. Seemed like once it was beating the right way, the rate drop down to the 60s. My doctor was very happy and surprised... guess my heart like the medicine :0) After an hour of just hanging in my room watching HGTV, I felt really silly hanging out in the PCU hooked up to all the monitors and such... when I felt perfectly fine.

The heart dr checked on my echo results, and came and talked to me. He said my atria are a little bigger than normal, but other than that, my heart looked fine. No evidence of a heart attack.. Thank goodness. It seems I just have some sort of "electrical" problem with my heart, that caused it to go into atrial fibrillation. If you are interested, you can read more about it here. Interestingly, my Mom has the same thing. Go figure... not only do I have her arthritis, bad joints, now a heart issue.

They switched me to oral medicine, and if my heart behaved for a few more hours... I could go home. Excellent news!! So, I got to go home around 6 in the evening... with orders to take an aspirin a day, plus 2 new heart medications to keep my heart rhythm stable... and orders to try and avoid stress in my life. I go back to the dr this afternoon to check and make sure the meds are still working ok.

For the most part I think I am doing OK. I have had a couple smaller "episodes" of a racing heart, but nothing like last week. I do still have a hard time walking any sort of distance without getting short of breath, and a heaviness in my chest. Going to mention that to her today.. and hopefully she can explain a little more about why this happened, and what to expect in the future.

I guess the old saying is correct... when it rains it pours!! I did get to go to Billings.. but since I couldn't drive from the medicine (it lowered my bp too much) my Mom and Dad took Gracie and I. Jim had to stay home to get some work done around the house and take Sam to his makeup game.

Just Want to Stay Home!

2011-05-19T09:35:00.005-06:00

I wanna go home... and stay there. I just want 2 days at home, with no obligations, games, meetings or appointments. Is that too much to ask? I can't even remember the last time I had half a day at home... and even then the house was filled with an extra kid or two... We just need some "downtime" as a family.. and time to catch up on all the chores that have been put on the back burner. The problem being... I just don't see this happening for at leas a few more weeks... and that doesn't make me a happy Mom!

I just looked at the calendar, and in the last 6 weeks we have been to Billings (150 miles away) 7 times.. including 2 overnight trips. That is just crazy... especially when gas is nearly $4 a gallon. Our budget has been "busted" for quiet a while now... again, no end in site! These have been required medical trips for 2 of the kids... which have resulted in some questions answered.. and lots of medical bills and new medications that cost over $200 a month... just for one kid! Yep... I guess I am having a "pity party" today.

To top that off... we are headed back to Billings this coming Sunday for another medical related trip. This time we will be in Billings Sunday - Thursday!! Saturday will be spent getting ready to be gone for a week... and getting 3 kids ready to go to Gramma's house again. I am so thankful she volunteered to take them... I was hesitant to ask, since she had them for a week in March, so it was nice that she offered before I could stress about asking. Trying to arrange rides and such for baseball, and make arrangements for the "big brown dog", but I think the neighbor girls are going to help watch him... I hope so anyway! There is no way we can afford to take him to the kennel this time... still not sure how we are going to pay for the week in Billings... but I know God will provide, he always does.

To add to the madness on Saturday... since I am on the board of Family Promise, I have to help for a few hours at our first ever rummage sale. It will be a great event, and we have tons of donations... but holy cow... does it have to be this weekend?!?!

And... yes there IS more.... we are going try to take 3 hours out of the day to take the kids to "Kids Fishing Day" out at the recreation area. They love fishing derby's and fishing in general, and this sounds like a really fun time. I can't let my "busyness" keep the kids away from something so fun... especially the way the last few weeks have been. They really deserve some outdoor fun with Mom and Dad!

I just gotta laugh when I read through all of this.... otherwise I just might cry! To top it off... I had my own little medical crisis last week with my heart. I will blog about that later, but lets just say I have been told to avoid stress in my life...ya whatever!

Remembering Mexico - Day #1

2011-05-18T13:24:00.009-06:00

I can't believe that it really has been 2 months since we were in Mexico... it kinda makes me a little it sad! Our time there was much too short... and my heart wants to be back on that beach, right now! Life has taken many unexpected twists and turns these past couple months that in some ways in seems like our trip was a lifetime ago.

I loved our time there, and just thinking about it makes me smile and relax just a little bit! One thing for sure, I am convinced that us "northerners" have everything all wrong. We are so busy, and in such a rush, worried about every little thing, that we are missing out on the good things in life.. and most of us don't even realize it!

Our first day in Mexico started at 3 in the morning. We had to be at the airport around 4:30 for our 6 am flight... it was fine though... I was much too excited to sleep. I had planned to just try and sleep a bit on the plane... but that didn't happen either. Just too excited... and a little nervous. Just filling out the customs and immigration forms on the plane made me giddy... I was just so darn excited for our new adventure!

We landed in Mazatlan shortly after noon.... 12:18 is when we were scheduled, so it was somewhere around there. We got off the plane "the old fashioned way" via stairs out on the tarmac.. and the airport was quite a bit smaller than I imagined. I is pretty utilitarian... but was spotless. Right away I felt quite safe, and everyone seemed quite friendly and helpful.

We had a shuttle bus company meet us at the airport, so we just waited a bit for them to organize all of us, and we were off to the resort. It was a nice, air conditioned bus... and very friendly people! I felt like they were taking care of us.

It took awhile to get to the resort, probably about 45 minutes to an hour.. longer than I thought, but it was really cool to just drive through the countryside and parts of the city, to get an idea of the area and the people. Some parts of town were obviously better than others... but all had bright colors everywhere and smiling faces. I did see some police/security type trucks with guys with machine guns in the back, patrolling the city.. but they didn't freak me out... it was actually kinda comforting.. and something different to look at. They were just driving around like our police cars do here. March is the dry season... so it was pretty dry too... kinda like late August here in Montana.

My first impressions of the resort was that it was amazing! I love it there... the landscaping and buildings are beautiful and so well kept. Our condo was the same way, and very inviting. I was like a little kid in a candy store! Checking in was even fun... even if our condo wasn't quite ready yet.

We wen down to the restaurant and had lunch... a very yummy lunch! I wasn't sure what to expect from the food... but I was pleasantly surprised. Before we went down there I wasn't going to eat anything not cooked, or drink any water except bottled... it think that lasted maybe one meal... especially at the resort. It was obvious the food was of high quality and there were lots of folks just like us eating raw foods and water.... I had the beef queseda for my first Mexican meal. It was so yummy... I just loved it, and had I not wanted to try other things, could have eaten that every meal were were there. The beans were SOOO good too!

At some point in the afternoon, we walked along the water, enjoying the sand and sunshine... life was perfect! Just relaxing and enjoying life.

I am pretty sure we stayed at the resort that night for dinner too, after enjoying our first happy hour and sunset.

After such a long day, we were in bed around 8:00 pm... exhausted. It was so cool to fall asleep listening to the ocean waves. I slept so good there, waking up each morning rested and ready for the day.. without an alarm clock. Ahhh.... great memories!

These are just the highlights of the day... I know I am missing things.. but what stands out in my memory the most is how I felt like we were being "taken care of" and how beautiful the resort and people are... and how relaxed I felt!! Loved it!

On My Mind Today.....

2011-05-18T08:47:00.000-06:00

Ok... Let's Try This Again!!

2011-05-17T15:50:00.011-06:00

Wow... seems like forever since I have been on here.. I guess that is because it has. So, I am challenging myself to get back in the blogging game.. and I am going to be selfish if you don't mind! Blogging/journal-ling is good for me... it helps me get things off my chest and puts things into perspective... Kinda like chatting with an old friend... so wish me luck... we will see how I do. I am inclined to say I will be here everyday, but that might be just a bit optimistic... but I will try.. Lord knows I have enough to catch up on.

The days and weeks seem to have just flown by... in some ways it seems like our Mexican vacation was a lifetime ago... and that is REALLY sad!! We had such an amazing time... memories I will treasure forever... I just better hurry up and get all of that written down... the way things have been lately, I might start to forget!

Our days have been filled with work, baseball and kids... and really no time for anything else. If you saw my house right now, you would agree. It needs some major attention.. but so does everything else in my life... so I guess it is just going to have to wait a bit longer.

Gracie and Sam are playing baseball. Sam is in T-Ball, Gracie in rookie, which means they have games Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday! So, working 8-5, usually through lunch and then rushing to the 6 o'clock games... and not home to start dinner until 7:30 makes for a very long day. I am not complaining... it is fun though, and the kids are really getting a ton out of it. Gracie especially is really coming out of her shell and doing great with the other kids and coaches, and they are all smiles at the end of the games. Much better than sitting on their rear ends in front of the tv that is for sure! It is just making this Momma worn out... plus everything else that is going on doesn't help at all. I will update you more on other happenings in the next few days... really I will... Ok, let's just say I will TRY!!

So.... until then, here are some baseball pictures for you to enjoy :0)

Ready to get that ball!

And a hit! She is actually hitting the ball as well as most kids... much better than I expected!

Gracie's team... The Angels during Opening Ceremonies!

Gracie actually said "yes" when they asked her to play catcher... good job girl!

My happy little baseball player!

Sam's Team.. the Royals at Opening Day Ceremonies

Yep, Sam does hit left handed!

Ready to get that ball

What a cute little guy!

Just Wondering?!?!

2011-05-03T14:01:00.003-06:00

Why is it easy to blog about the GOOD stuff... but nearly impossible to share the BAD stuff? I guess it is hard enough to admit to yourself that things really are kinda crappy right now... let alone share it with the world!

I guess overall things are not all bad... there has been some REALLY good among the not so good... I am just emotionally and physically worn out right now.

Some day I will get back in the "blogging groove"... really I will!! I still have some Mexico blogging to do... man, that trip seems like a lifetime ago now. I am so thankful we were able to go when we did. In the meantime, I am posting little tidbits on Twitter.. so check out the twitter feed to the right... when I stop doing that.. then you can worry!

Thanks for hanging in there with me.... I really appreciate it, and if you are a praying type of person... I would REALLY appreciate any prayers you may have for our family... God knows what is going on :0)

I Will Stand By You...

2011-04-20T09:16:00.003-06:00

When I come to the end of my life... Lord willing a LONG time from now... I don't want the preacher at my funeral to talk about how rich I was, how pretty I was, or how much stuff I had... I want him to talk about how I lived, laughed and loved... and did everything in my power to be a child of God, a good Mom/Grandma and a good wife. I want him to say I never gave up on my kids and stood by them through the good, the bad and the unthinkable. I never dreamed life would throw out all these curve balls... but I truly believe God NEVER gives us more than we can handle... and I am still proud to be HIS servant... no matter what. I know HE must be preparing us for something big... and I can't wait to discover what that is!

Visit to the Dentist - VICTORY!!

2011-04-19T16:18:00.018-06:00

I know that going to the dentist is pretty common occurrence, something that all of us do (or should) on a regular basis. But for our daughter Gracie, going to the dentist has been a pretty terrifying and emotional experience. We have seen Dr Joel Sayre at Gallatin Valley Pediatric Dentistry every 6 months since she was about 18 months old I guess. This has been a very slow process to say the least. Her first victory was walking in the exam room... that is all she could do that first day. She was terrified. The next time I think she actually sat on my lap in the dentist chair... but that was about it. These little victories have been huge for our girl.

If you have read this for any length of time, you know that our Gracie Girl is a miracle baby... born at just 1# 12 oz at just 25 weeks. You can read some of my previous posts to catch up if you need to. Because she was so tiny, and so sick, Gracie was on a ventilator with a tube down her throat for over 3 months. This was life saving, for her, so we are so thankful for this, but it has caused some issue for her as she has gotten bigger. I will go into more of that later.. the last few weeks have been a whirlwind of tests and anxiety... but back to the dentist! Anyway, part of being so early has caused her to have something called "sensory integration disorder" which makes her senses very chaotic... so among other things, she is very shy and anxious around new things, and has a huge phobia of anything that has anything to do with her head. This has made the dental exams pretty much impossible over the years. Thank goodness she has always been good about letting me brush her teeth... and now she does a great job herself.

Well, since we knew today's checkup was on the calendar, I began talking to her about going to the dentist a week or so ago, just to get her to start thinking about things and preparing. Last time we were there, she did great, and actually let them do the x-rays... since she could put the "cardboard thingy's" in her mouth all by herself.. something very important to a girl like her.. and she also let Dr J count her teeth... both huge milestones.. She still wouldn't let them clean her teeth, floss, or do the fluoride treatment, but it was a huge step for her... and on HER terms. They let her call all the shots. I think she was pretty proud of herself after that visit!

Today we had to be at the office at 8:30, so she didn't have much time to worry. Sam had his checkup too, so he was going to go first, like he usually does. Typically he loves going to the dentist and does very well... always has, so Gracie usually watches him have fun, and that helps her calm down and get prepared for her turn. Well, for some reason Sam was being a little turkey this morning. He has had pink eye, which is pretty much gone, but is still sensitive to bright light. Plus, for the last 3 days, it has literally taken 3 of us to get the drops in his eyes... 2 to hold him down, one to get the drops in him! I think he is just really over being messed with, and he didn't like the "spotlight" the dentist uses. He decided he wasn't going to cooperate today... which, like I said is very unusual for him.. he was just being stubborn! I really didn't want him to upset Gracie... it was turning into a disaster really quick. So, I told Sam if he didn't do what he needed to do, I was going to take Gracie out in the waiting room... with the hygienist blessing (actually her idea). He still didn't want to do what he was supposed to so I had to be "mean" and walk out of the room.. NOT an easy thing to do when your 5 year old son is screaming for Mommy... but I had to do it. Not that Gracie is more important than Sam... but he was just being a little turd! He had been there many times and done fantastic.... so I knew he would be fine. About 20 minutes later they brought him out, big smile on his face... stickers all over his shirt. He did great... just as soon as Momma was out of the room... just like I know he would. He does have one cavity that needs to be filled, so he will have to go back... and I am just going to take him and wait for him in the waiting room... he is a big boy, and the staff are fantastic with him... they can do it.. that is why they get the "big bucks" right?!?

Next, it was Gracie's turn. I sort of/kind of suggested that maybe I should wait in the waiting room, since it worked so well with Sam... but to say Gracie FREAKED OUT would be an understatement!!! She was having none of that... and said she was "going to do it" today... but I needed to go with her. She started to turn a little pale and blue like she does when she gets worked up and tries to pass out.. so I had no choice but to go with her.. and of course smiling Sam came along too.

She was a little nervous at first... but acted like a "woman on a mission". Not sure if she was determined to show Sam how "big girls" do it... or she was just scared to death that I was going to go out to the waiting room... probably a little bit of both. So... without going into every detail...let's just say she did amazing!! I am so proud of her, I was beaming. She let them take her picture with a big smile on her face. She picked out some cool sparkly sunglasses (like her cousin Madi's) and took about 5 minutes to decide on what flavor of toothpaste/polish she wanted... settling on mint after smelling about 20 of them.. go figure... she thought it would be like thin mint girl scout cookies :+)

They cleaned her teeth... rinsed them with the water and sucked out the extra with the "silly straw".. and she laughed. When that was done, she decided she didn't want to lay down anymore... so they did the fluoride and flossing while she was sitting up. The Dr J came in and looked at her teeth... told her that she as 4 more teeth than Sam... which she thought was great! Her 6 year molars are just about in. She also was pretty proud to show him her tooth "that is just growing in". She has one that will probably come out in the next few months.. since the permanent tooth is growing in behind it. All in all it was a great checkup...and no cavities... which is great for never having had her teeth cleaned before!

When we were done she was over the moon excited.. and so proud of herself. It didn't help that the doctor and all the staff... including the office staff were just as excited for her! The had all watched this process unfold for years, and felt the victory like we did. The receptionist even took her to her desk and pulled out a Easter basket full of toys (nice ones) that she could pick from... a really big deal! There were stuffed toys, and games and cars and Barbies and all kinds of Easter stuff... and you know what my dear sweet daughter picked out, after pondering for nearly 5 minutes.?!?! She picked a really fancy, artsy Easter egg decorating kit... with special egg cups, glitter, paints and the whole 9-yards. Sam looked a little sad and confused... after all he did what he was supposed... had been doing it his WHOLE life... and all he got was a little eraser thing out of the treasure box. I guess I kinda see his point :+) My dear sweet girl noticed too... and quickly piped up... "Sam, we can share this and make our eggs together... it can be both of ours"!
He was smiling and happy... I had tears in my eyes... and we walked out... with each of them holding on to the egg decorating kit!

Going to the dentist may be ordinary to you... but in Our Montana Life.... it is a huge victory for us. What a great morning... I couldn't be more proud of my girl... and the best part.. she is really proud of herself.. and plans to "do it again next time"!

I can't thank Dr J and his staff enough for the patience and dedication to our precious girl.. they are truly amazing people :+)

Remembering Mexico!

2011-04-18T11:40:00.004-06:00

Finally... a bit of time to do some blogging about our amazing trip to Mexico! In some ways it seems like a lifetime since we were there... but the memories with last a lifetime I am sure! I think I will just tackle a day at a time... hope that works for you!

Monday - March 14, 2011

I know we didn't actually leave for Mexico until 3/15, but our vacation started "officially" on 03/14/2011 @ 5:00 when we dropped the kids off at Gramma and Poppa's house. Much to my surprise, there were not last minute "good bye" meltdowns, so that made leaving them much easier on Momma! They were actually excited to be there.. and if I was completely honest... I think they were ready for a break from us too! It only took 30 minutes or so to get them settled in, and instructions about medicines and what not given to Gramma... so we were out the door by 5:30.. and so happy and excited! I think Mom and Dad were a little overwhelmed with the amount of "stuff" we dropped off with the kids!

Since March 14 was our 19th wedding anniversary, we had decided to go out to Sir Scott's Oasis for our anniversary dinner, but our reservation wasn't until 6:30... so we had an hour to kill. We decided to take a short drive down by the Gallatin River, and take a short walk, which we did. We were basking in the "no kid freedom"... so it was really fun... plus we were darn excited about leaving the next morning!

Our dinner was great as usual, I had finger steaks and Jim had the rib eye steak. The dinners come with tons of other goodies... so we were stuffed! I did end up taking leftovers home.. just couldn't eat it all... which reminds me, I think those same leftovers are still in the freezer! I carefully froze everything individually and wrapped it the next morning to keep it fresh as I could... then forgot to eat it... gonna remedy that tonight!

After dinner, we ran into town to pick up a couple last minute things that Jim needed. I am not sure why he didn't get that stuff before... but honestly I didn't really care... I just relished the time alone with him. Can't even remember what it was... a book or something. We wandered around Walmart way too long, and by the time we got home it was nearly 10! Not good, when you have to get up at 3 in the morning... and we still had some last minute things to do. We ended the evening with an "adult beverage"... to help us sleep of course.. another "no kid" luxury, since we usually don't keep alcohol in the house. It was nearing midnight when we finally drifted off to sleep. To be honest, I was so darn excited, I didn't sleep that great! When my alarm went off at 3 AM I was ready to jump up, and get to the airport for our 6 AM flight... but boy was I draggin' later in the day!

It was a perfect, relaxing evening to get us relaxed and ready for our adventure... really happy we had decided to do this!

A New Favorite!

2011-04-14T09:24:00.001-06:00

LOVE THIS SONG! Excited for Easter :0)

Easter... Question of the Day?!?!

2011-04-13T09:57:00.003-06:00

Just realized Easter is just around the corner! It's even later this year than usual, so I must really have my head in the clouds... really, I have just been distracted with "life". So.. on that note, I have a question for you you to ponder and share your great words of wisdom!

What are you doing for Easter? Do you have any cool family traditions? I want to make Easter special for many reasons... for some reason Easter seems to sort of be a rushed event lately, and we just "go through the motions".. not this year. I want it to be great! Any advice would be fantastic!

I know we will attend church... somewhere anyway... not sure exactly where yet. We are sort of in a time of "transition" with our faith community Imagine.... really have been for a few months, seeking God's leading in where/what HE wants for our family at this stage of our lives. We have dedicated two years to this "new venture" but are pretty convinced it is time to move on... but where?!?! Sometimes following and listening to God is not as easy as we would like. The last two years have been amazing... for Jim and I, but maybe not so much for the kids... so we are looking for the "what's next"... for our family. Easter is a great opportunity for renewal and re-dedication to Jesus! I am so excited to see what HE does!

On another note... our dear Gracie girl will turn 7 on April 29! Wow, time has sure flown by. She is at an awesome age for Birthdays, and is very excited to get together with her girlfriends... so if any of you have any great ideas for a fantastic "girly" birthday celebration.. would love to hear those comments as well.

Well... hope your day is fantastic! I have lots on my plate.. so I guess I better go and start crossing things off my list.... excited for TBall with Sam tonight... Gracie did fantastic last night at he first rookie practice. No more "t" for these kids... and she did so well, and really had a great time! A year sure makes a huge difference!

Wow... What a Week!

2011-04-11T14:32:00.003-06:00

Just wanted to check in.... haven't dropped off the face of the earth, and I do want to get to blogging about our Mexican adventure... I really do, but right now, our vacation seems like it was a lifetime ago.... but I am so thankful we had a bit of a break... otherwise I might very well be in the "nut house" by now... So, not much time right now, trying to play catch up, so I am just going to list all that has been going on the the last week... and I am sure you will get the idea. Promise I will be back soon!

Our son Chris has been having major issues at school... and otherwise. spent several days the week of March 28 at the school dealing with school, and lots of other crap... NOT fun.. but think we are back on track now... I sure hope so anyway. They had a huge staff/specialist meeting about him at school.... still need to follow up on that.... soon!
Celebrated hubby's Birthday on April 2... dinner out, cake and presents with family.. a little bit of a bummer, since hubby's Gramma was near death.. but we managed
Had an extra kid on Saturday night....
April 3... Gramma Liz passed away... emotional day for the kids and us...
April 4 hubby's actual b-day, performance review at work (went VERY well), had to bring treats to share for my b-day... packing for our short trip
April 5 drove to Billings in a terrible snow storm... NOT fun. Made it to the clinic with just minutes to spare. Spent the rest of the day with Gracie... doctors and test after test
April 6... my Birthday... Gracie has exploratory surgery to check out her lung issues... LONG day... little girl not feeling well... not so good news... long ride home, add flat tire to the mix... home at 11 pm
Got home from Billings... had to put together slide show for funeral service next day... sleep by 2 AM.... so tired, cranky girl
April 7... Gramma Liz's graveside service in the snow, funeral service at the church... cookie reception, rush home home, make a couple salads, spend great/fun evening with family
April 8.. back to Bozeman hospital, more urgent tests for Gracie as requested by her pediatrician.... at hospital found out my Mom was there with heart problems.. finished Gracie's stuff... took her home.. back to hospital til late with Mom
April 9... back to hospital early to talk to Mom's dr and make sure she is ok.. still not, so more time in the hospital... stayed til afternoon... grocery store on the way. Help Gracie get all dressed up for her "date" with Daddy.... cook dinner, play with boys.... wait for Gracie and Jim....
April 10... clean house, do laundry.... play in the sunshine with the dog... finally got to celebrate my Birthday... great dinner, presents and cake.... started with Breakfast in bed! Great day
April 11... back at work and school.... waiting for more instructions from the dr about Gracie... still worried, still figuring things out.... lots of medicines... very expensive :( TBall practice starts tonight for Sam... Gracie starts rookie baseball tomorrow... sure hope she feels ok to participate!

Whew.... see what I mean!

Must Have Been A Great Vacation....

2011-03-28T10:52:00.002-06:00

When it takes more than a week to recover! Still trying to get back into the swing of things. Just seem to be tired and worn out... and not feeling that great. Didn't really do anything this weekend but lay around.. and I know that is not good for the upcoming week. Seriously need to get some laundry and cleaning done tonight... or everything is going to fall apart. Just didn't have the energy this weekend. Had a great time lounging and goofing around with the kids thought. Sometimes that is just more important anyway.

Ok, so I WILL post pictures and such soon.. just not sure when... I really just want to sleep for a week. Returning to "reality" is quite the culture shock.. and I don't like it one bit... Hmmm.. what does that say about my life?!?! Might have to think about that one for a bit. Really miss spending time with my sweetie... don't like being back to the "old routine" where we hardly see each other.... YUCK!

Home Safe & Sound!

2011-03-23T11:26:00.003-06:00

Just a quick note to let you know that we are home from Mexico, and our amazing vacation! It is a bit of a shock to be back home and everything that goes along with that... but we are all adjusting I think. Bags are unpacked, laundry finished and everyone is back and work and school.... just really sleepy today... and not really wanting to be back in the "real world" yet...

I will update you on our great vacation in the coming days... have to catch up at work first... darn it! It is safe to say though... that we had a fantastic time, and can't wait to do it again :0)

Just Gonna Do It!!

2011-03-03T09:33:00.003-07:00

Thanks for the great comments about going to Mexico. I am not going to let fear control what I do, and am going to go and have a fantastic adventure... no matter what comes our way. Jim and I desperately need time away, and I truly feel this trip is meant to be. He isn't scared one little bit, and wouldn't even consider not going. My knight in shining armor promises to protect me!

It is interesting to me how much some incidents in Mazatlan, or Mexico in general seem to get all hyped up. I know the same kinds of things happen ever day here in the US, but we rarely hear about it, and if we do, it isn't in the same "hyper-scared" way. Obviously I am not going to go to a club and get trashed, do drugs and wander around at night... that is asking for trouble.. here and in Mexico. I think that is what the FoxNews article was referring too... dangerous spring break party destinations. Again, doesn't apply to us "old-folks". Plus, I don' think I am going to be searching out the drug cartel folks to do business with them... if you know what I mean! So.... today, I am looking ahead, not worrying and getting more excited by the minute!

Should We Go?!... That is the Question of the Day!

2011-03-02T08:23:00.004-07:00

Wow! A couple days ago I was nervous to leave the kids behind for a week of vacation time with my husband... now I am just plain nervous to go at all! Since we have plans to go to Mazatlan, I am getting comments from people about whether or not we are crazy to go to such an unsafe place. This link was forwarded to me this morning, by a well-meaning, family member. Not sure what to think anymore? I am sure we can't get a refund on our plane tickets.... but should we still go.... or figure out another "safer" destination for the week?!?!

I am inclined to think the "media" is just trying to get me to spend my money in the U.S. or trying to scare everyone.. but it still has my radar up. Dang it... I just want to get away for a few days of rest, relaxation and fun... and no worries! Not sure that is going to happen... the not worrying part anyway!

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/02/28/dangers-lurk-spring-breaks-dangerous-destinations/

2 Weeks

2011-02-28T14:53:00.002-07:00

Wow! Can't believe we leave for Mexico 2 weeks from tomorrow! I get wild butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it. Some excitement butterflies, some nervous ones. I am really, really looking forward to going, but not looking forward to leaving the kids that long, especially to go out of the country. I know they will be perfectly fine, but I am going to miss them like crazy!

This time away will be fantastic for Jim and I both, so it is a good thing, and it will be a blast, so why I am feeling like this?!? Probably a little guilty, that they aren't coming... and that Mom and Dad will have all 4 of them for so long! Hope they are good... might be the last time we get to do this!

Plus, now our bigger kids wish they would have said "yes" when we asked them if they wanted to go. Chris said he didn't really think we were serious! I just hope they don't get too bored while we are gone. I guess I feel like I am "stealing" their spring break, to have some selfish fun.. and I don't like that.

So... I guess my feelings are mixed. Half of me is so darn excited I can barley stand it, the other have not so much. I am sure it will all work out great. Guess I better start getting ready... not easy to get 6 people, the dog and a cat ready for a week away from home! Oh, and yes, you read that right... a dog found his way to our family. I will post more about him tomorrow... with pictures!

2011-02-25T14:23:00.001-07:00

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Bye Girl...

2011-02-15T15:53:00.007-07:00

I didn't think she was going to die. Thought we would have a huge vet bill, and medication to give her, but never really thought she would just up and die on us. Daisy was only 4 years old when she passed away last night at around 8:15. We left the vet at around 5, thinking all was going to be ok, with an appointment to return the next morning for some routine blood tests, she seemed a bit better too.. the vet gave her some canned dog food to see if she would eat.. and she gobbled it right up, and seemed a little perkier... I guess she wasn't. He was just going to rule out some things, and put her on medicine today to stabilize her neurological function, thinking perhaps she had epilepsy, or some other manageable issue, not something fatal.

Daisy had her first seizure on the evening of February 3, when she had 2 She bounced back pretty good the next day and was acting great, just like her little pug self. That afternoon she had another, milder seizure, and still seemed fine otherwise. The vet said that if she only had an occasional seizure she was probably ok.. and the medicine to treat them would make her all doped up, and would be worse than the seizures themselves. Since she seemed back to normal by the weekend, we opted to call on Monday if something more happened, and it didn't.

Fast forward to this past weekend. Daisy seemed really tired and lethargic. She just wanted to hang out in her little hiding place, in her bed and sleep. We kinda just left her alone, not really thinking too much of it, until Sunday, when we had to go get her and take her outside to go potty, and take her to her food and water. She would eat and drink, but only if we took her to her bowls in the kitchen. Our son Isaac said it was like she lost some of her senses, or that her personality was gone. She was confused and disoriented, like she didn't know where she was, or who we were, but otherwise wasn't in pain, feverish or in any other distress. She just wanted to be alone to sleep. Later Sunday, she seemed really week, and was having trouble standing for very long, and when she tried to walk, she would just kind of fall over. First thing on Monday morning, we called the vet, who wanted to see her later in the afternoon.

Once we were home from the vet's office, and the yummy (aka stinky) canned dog food, she seemed a little better, so we thought perhaps it was a blood sugar issue. She wanted to snuggle, and be held for 30 minutes or so, but then things went down hill from there, fairly quickly really. Jim put her on the floor, since he had been holding her, and she just kind of rolled to her side, unable to stand again, with a glazed far off look on her face... like she wasn't really there. She had another seizure... hadn't had one for a week, well at least one that we witnessed. She could have had one while she was "hiding" I guess. The seizure lasted for just a few minutes, but she was really stiff, and agitated after, very disoriented, like she had no idea where she was at. Her eyes were really weird, almost disturbing. They were twitching back and for really fast, and then rolling around in her head. The vet had told this that was a very bad sign to watch for. Then she was very still, eyes open, and breathing, kind of in some sort of coma like state for about 30 minutes. We thought she was just recovering from the seizure, but stayed close to watch her. Jim and I were communicating without talking, and I think we both knew that this was not ok, and she was probably dying. Since we knew there wasn't much the vet could do, we opted to just keep her home, with all of us who loved her close by, where she felt safe, rather than rush her off to the pet emergency place, where there were strangers.

After a bit, she kind of "woke up", went and got a drink of water on her own and stiffed around for crumbs like she usually did. Then, she went back to her blanket, and curled up on her blanket, like she does when she is going to take nap. This time when she laid down, she was really relaxed, and seemed happy, so we thought her "episode" was over. A bit later, around 8:15, she started moving around weird, kind of shaking her head around. Isaac and Jim were upstairs, so Chris and I laid down on the floor with her, and sent Sam and Gracie up to get Isaac. She made some really weird movements,then stopped. Chris said he thought she had died, he was looking at her face. I wasn't sure, but tried to feel her heart beat, but there wasn't one. Isaac, Gracie and Sam were there, and Chris was yelling for Jim. Soon we were all gathered around her, trying to figure out what we should do. Chris suggested chest compressions like they do on people.. but that didn't do anything. I knew she was gone, but the kids were all begging me to "wake her up". Poor Gracie was almost hysterical.

Once we all realized she was gone, it was completely silent in the house.. except for poor Sam. He really didn't "get" what was going on, and couldn't figure out what we were dong. He had bit his lip or something, and was looking at it in the bathroom, and came out and showed me the blood on his lip, so I told him to get a wet wash cloth. He came out with a big band-aid on his bottom lip.. not even covering the bleeding spot.. looking ridiculous, in his little innocent way, and we couldn't help but chuckle, since it was pretty obvious he had no clue what had just happened.

We were all sitting on the floor, so I had him sit with us, and tried to explain what happened. Gracie just started sobbing again, and Sam just got quiet. Poor Isaac had tears running down his face, just completely broken. Chris didn't even have anything to say... he just quietly updated his facebook status with his phone to.. "RIP my dog Daisy"... even Mr tough guy was shaken.

After we all said goodbye, we put her in her favorite bed, and wrapped her in her special blanket. Isaac watched just stared at her for the longest time... his heart breaking. Gracie kept trying to hug him, and saying "Isaac, was she your best friend" and such.. which honestly didn't help do anything but make us all cry more. Then she went and drew a picture of Daisy and wrote "I luv you" on it, and gave it to Isaac to put in the bed with Daisy. Then Isaac went and got her favorite sweater and put it on her, and tucked in the treat he had bought her for Valentine's Day, and arranged her so it looked like she was just sleeping. Jim and I thought it would be best to put her in the garage overnight, until we could do something with her in the morning, but both Gracie and Isaac freaked at the idea, Gracie almost hyperventilating... so I let them keep her in the living room overnight. I know, that is completely weird to have a no longer living dog in the living room, but I didn't know what to do. I was just really hoping she wouldn't smell really bad, or get gross overnight. She just looked really peaceful in her bed.

Isaac first wanted to bury her in the backyard, but the ground is frozen, since it is February, and we couldn't really wait. It just seemed wrong to just toss her out, plus I am not sure that is even legal. We haven't had to deal with this before, so we were at a loss. So, google to the rescue! We found a place that cremates animals, so we opted for that option. They are doing a private cremation, and in a few days we will get back a little tin with her ashes in it, a lock of her hair, and her paw prints. Not sure what we will do with the ashes, but it buys us some time, and lets Isaac decide what he wants to do. I totally left the decision up to him. If he would have really wanted to bury her, we would have done that one way or the other. I think this is a good option.

So, our world has been turned upside down in just 10 days. She was too young to die, and we didn't expect to lose her so soon. She was the best dog we could have ever asked for, such an amazing little doggie personality. She never ran off, didn't have to be on her leash, loved the kids.. Isaac more than anyone. He and Daisy had an amazing bond. He doesn't have lots of close friends, Daisy was his best friend, and he was her primary caregiver. I didn't really have to do much for her, he did it all, without asking. She was a funny little girl who could communicate her every need with her facial expressions and little snorts. I never thought I would miss all that snorting that pugs do, but I really do. The house is quiet. Daisy only had one flaw, and I can't even really call it a flaw, since she couldn't help it, but she was the hairiest dog in the world, and shed constantly.. so I guess I won't miss that part. The kids are already talking about another dog.. we will wait until we get back from Mexico for sure, but then we will have to see if we can find one. I don't want another dog though... I want DAISY back... no dog will be able to replace her I know.

We are not completely sure what happened, but the vet called to talk to me this afternoon. He is pretty convinced, after all that went on last night, that she had a mass in her brain, encephalitis, or some other catastrophic brain disease, and there really wasn't anything that could have been done, even with the best and most expensive of care. Given her symptoms, he thinks it was pressing on the nerve that goes from the brain to her ear, probably her right side, given how she was shaking her head, and how it seemed like she couldn't hear, and then could hear again.. Very strange, and according to the vet, extremely rare, especially for her age. He doesn't think she got into something toxic, since she had no other symptoms, like tummy upset.

So, we go on, without our Daisy Mae... all of us are a little bit lost and very much sad.. I didn't realize how much we all loved her, and how much a part of our family she was. Valentine's Day will never be the same again. Bye Girl.. love you lots!

RIP Daisy Mae
8/13/2006 - 02/14/2011

I Will Follow...

2011-02-09T09:13:00.004-07:00

This is one of Gracie's favorite songs. It sure brings joy to my heart to hear her sing it at the top of her lungs and dance around... that girl knows every single word too!

It is not always easy to follow God, and listen to what he is teaching us.. but the rewards are amazing in the end! Hang in there.. and keep looking forward.... that is my goal for the week!

More Mexico Dreamin'

2011-02-08T10:55:00.008-07:00

5 weeks and counting... and YES I sure am counting! I have been trying to not think about our trip to Mazatlan in an attempt to make the time go by faster. Can't say it is working very well though! I want to savor every single moment, including the anticipation and preparation, so I am not quite ready for March 15 to be here... I want to enjoy the process! However, I would really like it if it was about March 8 or so... even thinking about it brings a smile to my face... and makes my heart beat just a bit faster. Yep, gotta figure out a way to put it out of my mind... or all that I will accomplish is day dreaming and everyone around me will be ready for me to go away too... and shut up already about the darn trip to Mexico.

I have had some people ask me where we are staying... and is it safe? Well, yes it is safe, or we wouldn't be going there! From all I have heard about his place, it is amazing and the staff are fantastic, they have purified water, and security. Nothing to worry about... well except the usual things a "worry wart" like me worries about... except for this trip I have made a vow to my dear husband to TRY and not worry and fret n fuss over anything... that will be his job.. so that means no worry at all! Notice I said TRY... not sure how I will do.

The resort is called Torres Mazatlan Click Here to check it out. Here are some pictures I have been drooling over.... wow, I still am amazed that we really get to go... and without kids... truly a dream come true! I love my kids more than life itself... but sometimes grown ups just need a break!

The Weekend that Wasn't...

2011-02-07T15:37:00.006-07:00

Here it is Monday again! Don't know why this darn day keeps coming around so quickly. Today has been another "one of those days" that I am just sort of down... not sure why. Well, that is kind of a lie... I know why... there are LOTS of reasons, but I just don't feel like dragging it all our right now, so I won't.

Part of the reason is I am just really tired today. I don't feel like I had a weekend at all. I was running around like crazy all weekend... which was Ok... except now I am exhausted and faced with a dirty house and a mountain of laundry to tackle. I know better too. If it is not pretty much done by Sunday night.. it makes for a heck of a week... too much chaos and I can't function... and that is where we are at now. I need to go home and get my rear end busy... but really I just want to go home and crawl in my comfy bed and escape and sleep! I will give it my best shot though.. or things will just go downhill from here! Wish me luck!

So... what kept me away from my chores this weekend!?! Well...

Friday I picked up Chris after school for yet another doctor appointment... getting really tired of all of these darn appointments... I think he has had some sort of appointment at least twice a week since October. Wonder when it will end?! Will it? After his appointment, I dropped him off and had to turn right around and head back to town to open up the church for our Family Promise guests. The other coordinator (we use their building) was out of town, and I have a key, so I had to head in. Gracie and Sam rode along. We had to wait for the dinner hosts to show up, and of course they were a bit late. Finally around 6 after everyone was settled in for the evening, we headed home... well almost anyway. We had to make a stop at the grocery story on the way home. Think we made it home a little after 7 or so. Then more running around at home.. making dinner, cleaning up, giving baths and such. Jim dropped Chris off in Bozeman on his way to work.... under 21 dance at the fairgrounds.... which meant I had to pick him up when it was over... at midnight...crazy how midnight didn't used to be that late! Ha! .... guess I am getting old. Once Grace and Sam were tucked in, I had Isaac stay and watch them, and headed in to Walmart about 10:30. Figured I would wander around by myself for a bit before picking Chris up. Browsed through the luggage/travel section, picked up some travel sized shampoo and such, and bought myself a new shirt for our trip to Mexico. A little daydreaming through Walmart is good for the soul! Sometimes he wants to leave early, so I figured I would be closer if I was already in town.. well, that was my "excuse" anyway! Of course, he didn't! By the time I got him home it was 12:30, then we talked about the dance and such till 1:45 or so! Crazy long night... I was exhausted.. but when your teenage son wants to "talk" it doesn't matter what time of day it is... you talk!

Saturday started bright and early too... much to my dismay. Gracie and Sam were up and ready for the day at 7.. .which means Mom was too So, I made breakfast for everyone, then I had a few errands to run in town, so Gracie and I went and did those. By the time we got home, it was time to make dinner for Family Promise. Saturday was our night to cook and host dinner. We made sloppy joes, green beans and tater tots and applesauce. I took the easy way out on dessert though... ice cream and cones. Dinner was a big hit with the kids and pretty good too! One Mom told me they were the best sloppy joes she had ever had :0) Not sure they were THAT great, but she liked them.

I wasn't able to find a female overnight host for Saturday, so I had to do it myself. Didn't really mind though. It is pretty easy, and gives me a little break away from the house. So, Gracie and I packed up dinner and our jammies and headed to the church around 4:30. Jim and they boys had a "man party" as Chris called it. Not sure what all they did, pretty sure I don't want to know either... I know they watched movies and cooked steak for dinner. I think they kinda like it when Mom is gone! Gracie had a great time.. there was a little almost 5 year old girl there, so they had SO much fun. It was like a slumber party for them... her Mom told he that she hadn't heard her daughter giggle like that since their whole ordeal started... that really warmed my heart. Isn't it amazing how God can use even a 6 year old girl?!?! Gracie had loaded up here whole backpack with stuff... so they had a great time coloring, playing with the stuffed animals, watching a movie and just playing. It is amazing to me too how she wasn't shy at all. She played with the kids just like she plays with her brothers, and even visited with the adults. I could tell that she had a "spark" about her all night. Once we were snuggled up on our air mattress bed at the church, it was a very special time to talk about how lucky we are, and about how God always takes care of each of us. Very moving.. and something that just can't happen in a pew at church.

Sunday came early at the church. We were up at 6:30, since Sunday is moving day, and the guests have to move there stuff out by 7:30, so they can get ready for Sunday morning services. Once they left, Gracie and I helped clean the kitchen and bathrooms and get the Sunday School rooms back in order. It must have been 9:30 by the time we got home.

I spent the morning cooking for our Super Bowl Party at Mom and Dad's house. We have been going there for years, and it has become somewhat of a family tradition. Great times. We had entirely too much food, but it was yummy... and now we have tons of leftovers, so I don't have to worry about cooking dinner tonight! By the time we got home it was nearly 9:00... by the time the kids were in bed and everything ready for morning, I just collapsed in my bed... exhausted...with not one bit of cleaning, or laundry done!

Yikes!! It's going to be a LONG week! I need to figure out how to clone myself!

February 8, 2011 - Well, just a little update to this post. Since we had tons of leftovers from the weekend, dinner was a breeze last night, which left me with some extra time... SO... knowing that I had to get busy to protect my sanity for the week head, I got down to business. I am pretty happy with myself too. I was able to do about 6 loads of laundry, get it folded and put away. There are only 2-3 loads left, so that will get finished tonight. I cleaned 2 of our 3 bathrooms, and our bedroom, and we all pitched in and did the kitchen and living room. So, things are back to the way I like them at the beginning of the week... just wish I could have gotten to bed a bit earlier, oh well, it was worth it!

Teenager Vent...

2011-02-03T11:35:00.005-07:00

Starting to understand why parents get so frustrated with teenagers! I always hoped that mine wouldn't be the same... but not true. Wow, this growing up stuff is not only hard on the teenagers, it is hard on Mom too! I now know what my parents had to go through with my sister, and probably me too... and I feel bad that I didn't see it so much then!

It is hard to care, to love and to try so hard.... and still have them be little monsters and make bad choices! If these two... one in particular make it through high school without me turning into a psycho crazy drug addicted alcoholic I will be amazed! It isn't just them either... it is the school, their friends, our community... "church".... the whole package! With driving, dating, jobs, school, friends, relationships, communication, bad choices, responsibility, independence... OMG I feel like my whole head is going to explode at any moment!

Seriously not sure I will make it through. If we do make it to graduation, and I am not at the funny farm... we are going to have one heck of a party!!

Thanks for letting me "vent".... and will someone PLEASE remind me why we have 4 children?!?! Not sure that was the best choice we ever made either!

Our vacation AWAY from life can't come soon enough!

Come Home...

2011-02-01T09:04:00.003-07:00

Wow, that was FAST!!

2011-01-26T15:53:00.003-07:00

Well, the worry about our passports arriving in time for our trip are gone. Yep, we got them both in the mail today. We applied late in the day on 01/14/2011 and have them in our hot little hands today! Not even two weeks! Jim was so excited he took pictures with his phone and sent them to me at work. It is safe to say we are crazy... and very excited!

Now, off to find something else to worry about... like the safety and security for American tourists in Mazatlan. All these state department warnings and "news" have me a little bit concerned, I must admit!

Shower for Sara!

2011-01-26T13:41:00.014-07:00

While it may seem like I am spending every waking minute dreaming about Mexico... that certainly hasn't been the case... well at least not EVERY waking minute anyway. Today a friend and I had a baby shower for another friend here at work. Gracie and I spent time last night making and decorating cupcakes... and talking about babies. Yesterday afternoon she had come to my office to sell Girl Scout cookies (59 boxes to be exact), so she had seen Sara and we talked about the baby girl in Sara's tummy. Well, boy to she have questions last night. Her biggest concern was how was the baby going to open her presents if she was still in her Mommy's tummy? What color cupcake would the baby like? When is the baby going to come out? Then.... how does the baby get out Mommy? I was waiting for the How did the baby get in there question, but thankfully that one didn't come out of my dear princesses mouth... I know it will someday, but I dodged that bullet again last night!

We decorated our conference room, and pizza and cake and had some "baby talk". Instead of regular shower gifts, we had each guest bring a book for baby, and that was actually quite fun! Gracie and I went shopping and she picked out a book by Max Lucado called "One Hand, Two Hands". It is a really cute book about our "hands" and how God gave us hands to do nice things for other people. Adorable illustrations too. She loved it too. It was fun to see the other books that folks had picked out.

I am so excited for Sara. She is an awesome friend and is so excited for this baby. This will be here and her husband's first, a girl. Her baby is due on February 15, so just a few weeks we will get to meet her. She and I shared a room on our trip to St Louis way back in June, when she had just found out she was expecting, so we had some great talks late at night in our hotel room. This is one lucky little girl to get to have such a great Momma! Here are some random pictures of our fun... and Gracie's cupcakes. She is getting to be quite the little baker :0)

Progress....

2011-01-25T08:31:00.004-07:00

For some reason today I woke up CRABBY.... not sure why, but just want to be alone, with nobody bugging me. I walked out my front door... and the snow didn't really help my mood either. I HATE days like this. It is only 8:30 in the morning... so I am pretty sure the my mood will improve as the day goes along.... I hope so anyway :0)

On a bright note.... progress in the passport department! When I got to my office, I had an email waiting for me telling me that our passports have been printed, and since we paid for overnight delivery, we should have them around 1/27/2011! Wow, that is a surprise. That means instead of their 4-6 week processing time, we will have them in two weeks. I am so happy we didn't pay the extra $$ for expedited processing... that would have been a complete WASTE of money!!

See.... I am in a better mood already..... knowing I will be on the beach in 6 weeks doesn't hurt either....

Am I A Grown Up Now?!?!

2011-01-22T11:58:00.005-07:00

I always thought people with passports were kinda cool... more sophisticated in way. I have no idea why. Probably because I never really knew anyone that traveled enough to need one. My parents rarely went anywhere. Well, at least not until we were in high school and Dad had to travel to his police chief conferences. He and Mom would go once a year. My little sister and I went a couple of times, once to Washington DC and then to San Diego. We thought we were pretty special just to leave Montana... but to have a passport? We really didn't know anyone that cool!

Well, now that I am 40 years old, I am getting my very own passport. I guess that means I am a grown up now! Last week Jim and I had a "passport date". While the kids were home with big brother, we got our photos taken at Costco, headed to the courthouse to grab a missing birth certificate, then stood in line for 45 minutes at the post office. Guess we weren't the only ones thinking passport that day. It may sound weird... and probably really confirms that we REALLY need to get away... but we had a great time! Visiting, and dreaming about the upcoming trip, taking our time... don't think we talked about the kids once. Strange to have fun doing simple errands :0)

So, now our applications have been completed and handed in. I was pleasantly surprised when I got an email saying they were being processed, and when I noticed they had cashed our checks.... to the "US State Department" no less :0) They asked if we wanted "expedited service" so we would get our passports in 2-3 weeks... which seemed like an ok idea... until we found out it would be an extra $60 a piece. Ok maybe we didn't need that. Regular processing supposedly takes 4-6 weeks, and we had nearly 8 weeks... so it seemed logical that paying an extra $120 would be a waste.. but in the back of my mind I still hope we made the right decision.

I have a good friend who works at the passport office in Seattle, and she has promised to watch out and make sure nothing gets delayed anywhere... so that is a big help. It is just scary to know that if they don't get the paperwork processed in time, you can't leave the country... no matter what.

So.. we wait, not necessarily on pins and needles but close. Just makes me wonder what all they do in their processing that take so long? I guess they need to make sure that we are not some sort of criminal or some folks that are going to try to take over the world or some such nonsense. I think they are going to be pretty disappointed when they find out out just how boring we are!

More Details About Our Adventure!

2011-01-20T19:16:00.007-07:00

Ok, now I have a bit more time to give you some more details about our upcoming adventure to Mexico.

My husband's parents have been heading down to Mazatlan Mexico for the past several years and they just love it down there. They first went with Jim's Aunt who had a timeshare type membership at a resort down there. Well, it didn't take long before they became owners themselves. Not sure it is truly a timeshare or what, since there are lots of different resorts throughout the world they can chose from, but you get the idea. They have gone down their with their brothers and sisters and by themselves, and always have a fantastic time.

We have been intrigued by the place for awhile now, really wanting to visit this place they love so much, but not exactly sure how we could afford to buy 6 plane tickets to get us all down there. Well, this year when they started talking about planning an upcoming trip, we were drawn to the idea again. Not exactly sure how it all transpired, but soon my Mom-in-Law and I were chatting on Facebook, and before I knew it, I was dreaming of Mexico. I talked it over with Jim, and we decided to just do it. Rather than wait until we could afford to take all the kids, we decided to just leave the kids at home with Gramma and Grampa, throw caution to the wind and go! Thinking about it now, I really hope I didn't "invite myself" :0)

My head is still spinning. We cautiously began to explore whether or not it would work out. Checking on airfare, checking our finances, childcare options, time off work and such, and everything really came together well. Must be a sign from God that we need to go! All the doors were opened.

We really do need some time away from the stresses of life and kids. Things have not been easy the last 6 months or so... lots going on with school, work and kids.. one in particular. Now that things are starting to be back to "normal" and we can take a deep breath. it is time for some fun, and reconnecting as adults, instead of as "Mom and Dad".

So, we are heading to Mexico mid-March with Jim's Mom and Dad, but with NO KIDS. Yes, I will miss them... a ton. Yes, I am a bit nervous about leaving them here while we are in another country, but I am really looking forward to a long vacation from work.. and a little respite from being the Mom of 4 kids...some time to remember why I fell in love with my dear husband. It is a once in a lifetime experience.. and I am out of my mind excited.. and I am pretty sure my hubby is too!

We leave on Tuesday March 15 and return the following Monday, March 21. Our 19th wedding anniversary is March 14, so the timing is perfect. Not to mention it is Spring Break, so the kids won't have to be shuttled back and forth to school. We are both taking off that entire week then Monday and Tuesday the week we get back 11 whole days off of work in a row! The kids will go to Gramma's that Monday afternoon, since our flight is at 6 am the next morning. Yikes.. that is early.. but somehow it doesn't really matter when you are on vacation! Perfect, since that night is our anniversary... we are going to go out to dinner to celebrate... and start out our vacation right. It is going to be a great week... I can't wait!! I better figure out a way to get my head out of the clouds though and pay attention to business until March!

What's with Then "New Look"?!?!

2011-01-20T15:00:00.005-07:00

No, I haven't gone crazy... well not completely anyway! So, I am sure you are wondering what the deal is with the "beach gone crazy" theme.... especially since Montana is really nowhere near the ocean... no palm trees either!

Well... it seems that I will be taking a trip in a couple of months.... and my brain is going nuts with anticipation! Do I dare even blog about it? Will it jinx it?!?! Well, I sure hope not... but I am still in shock that we get to go... and a little part of me is waiting for the "next shoe to drop" so to speak!

I don't have a huge amount of time for details right now... BUT I want you all to know that we are GOING TO MEXICO in March! Yep, you read that right. Plane tickets have been purchased, passports applied for, and resort reservations made. We leave on March 15!

I am certain you will be very tired of hearing about our trip.. and my out of control excitement by then.... we will see if any of you are left by the time I get back :0) I am already driving my family nuts with questions and ponderings.... don't worry, you will be sick of me soon. On the upside though.. if you have been to Mexico in the past... or really anywhere out of the country and have some good advice for someone who has never left the U.S. I am all ears, and would love your comments!

This is where we are going.....

Our Chrismtas in Review: Christmas Day

2011-01-10T10:04:00.002-07:00

It is pretty sad that here it is January 10, and I am just getting around to blogging about Christmas Day. I really have no excuse... other than the crazy busyness of Our Montana Life!

This is going to be a quick re-cap... and that is just going to have to be good enough for now. Our Christmas was much different that we had really planned/hoped for... darn it! Like I mentioned earlier, Gracie and I were both sick right before Christmas, along with Chris. Well, as luck would have it, Sam woke me up shortly before 6 am in Christmas Day. At first I thought he was just excited to open presents... but soon realized he was crying... and burning up. Poor little guy caught the bug... on Christmas no less! As I was trying to comfort him, and see what was wrong, our son Isaac was up and about... and I heard him coughing... a horrible "tight in the chest" type of cough... he had it too! I suggested he take a hot shower to try and loosen up his chest. So, not the way I expected to start the day. We did gather in our living room a short while later.. Isaac feeling better from the shower, a cup of hot tea in hand, and Sam with a dose of ibuprofen in him, and some juice. Once the gifts were open though... both of the boys were back in bed.

Other than the illness... I don't think anyone was at 100%... it was a great day. We had a great breakfast of orange cranberry scones and breakfast casserole, munched on appetizer type snacks mid-day, played games, watched a move and snuggled on the couch. We enjoyed our Christmas Dinner around 6 pm. This year we feasted on crab legs, bbq ribs, baked potatoes and green salad, followed by cherry cheescake. It was very relaxing, and filled with many special moments... just how I wanted it to be.

As much as I love the holidays, I am glad to be back to normal... well whatever normal is for us! Chris got very sick again a few days after Christmas. Ended up visiting the dr's office.. who sent us to the ER for a CT scan and iv antibiotics... in fact he is STILL taking antibiotics and not up to 100%. He ended up with a severe sinus infection that moved to the tissues around and behind his left eye. He looked like someone just beat the heck out of his face.. and he felt awful. Came on quick too. He had a follow up appointment late last week... and came home with another round of antibiotic, since he still wasn't where the doctor wanted him to be.

So, the tree has been down for a week, Christmas lights came down this weekend before this awful cold snap moved in.. and we are back at it.. back to work, back to school, back to our Crazy Montana Life!

I hope all of you had a great Christmas. If you want to take a glimpse of our Christmas photos. Click Here

Our Christmas in Review: Christmas Eve

2010-12-30T11:09:00.010-07:00

Wow... sure thought I would be here a bit sooner to update about our Christmas... but you never know what may come up in Our Montana Life.. so here I am, 5 days after the big day. All things considered, we did have a great Christmas... well, most of it anyway!

I was pretty sick with a nasty cold bug most of the week prior to Christmas (along with our son Chris and daughter Gracie), so there were some things that just didn't get done like I would have liked, and some things that we just crossed off the calendar... I just couldn't do it! We were planning on attending Journey Church's Christmas celebration on December 23, but I just felt to awful and went to bed. Too bad too.. sounds like it was a great service... standing room only. We actually already had our tickets... got them right after Thanksgiving, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

I did manage to get the most important things done by noon on December 24, which I was pretty proud of actually. All the gifts were wrapped, Santa stuff hidden and ready to put out, house clean, and all the food prepped and ready for Christmas Eve and as much done as I could for Christmas dinner. So, all in all it was a great feeling to be done with a few hours to spare. To just sit and relax and enjoy the afternoon... and doze off a little bit... while my dear husband did his wrapping of the gifts he purchased that morning... gotta love him!

We spent Christmas Eve at my sister Linda's house. I made sweet and sour meatballs and a shrimp cracker spread kind of thing, along with a "Sam Safe" peppermint cake. My husband Jim made the rolls. All of the food was great as usual, and in some ways a comfort, since we usually have the same things year to year. It is the little things that really make it special. Like my sisters Christmas Tree cookies, or Mom's potato salad. Just gotta have them or it wouldn't be Christmas Eve.
We laughed and laughed at our precious daughter Gracie. My niece Madi has a purple microphone, and Gracie LOVES to entertain us with a song. She has done this for the past couple of years, and this year we all gathered around just to watch her. I am sure it is one of the "you have to be there" to really get it kind of thing, but to us it was pretty funny... and a good laugh! You can watch it here if you want. I just watched it again, and it made me laugh all over... it is Gracie's giggle that does it! Silly girl.

We exchanged gifts, the kids played the wii and we just had an all around good time. The kids pondered about Santa, and wanted the night to end early... great fun, great memories I will treasure in my heart forever.

We headed home around 9 pm... mostly because the kids couldn't stand it anymore! We let them open one gift on Christmas Eve.. the gifts they give each other. Since we have 4 kids, it gets expensive to have each kid buy something for the other 3... so they draw names and buy for just one. It works out really well for us, they each get something, but it isn't overwhelming. They had the paper ripped off those gifts withing 5 minutes of walking in the door!

Oh, and speaking of gifts (pardon me as I digress..) On 12/23 our son Chris was getting a little nervous because there wasn't anything under the tree for me... what a sweet son I have! He knows Jim usually puts things off, but Chris wanted to make sure I got what I wanted too. So, Chris gathered his sister and brothers for a "family" meeting. Prior to this meeting, he asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and wrote down a list. They hid in our downstairs bathroom, and decided what item on my list they were each going to get.... all because of Chris' leadership. Proud Momma moment for sure. Then, Chris gave the list and asked Dad to get the items when he was out and about. I think Chris would have gone too... but he just wasn't feeling that great at that point. Chris has no idea, that it didn't really matter at all what they gave, me... by taking this on and "organizing" everyone, he gave me the best gift ever. He really made me feel loved and taken care of!
OK - so after the kids opened their gifts, and left cookies for Santa, we turned out all the lights in the house, even the tree, and lit all of our candles.. lots of them! Jim read the Christmas story from the Bible and we each took turns praying. It was a very special time for our family. A great way to end the evening.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T00:07:00.003-07:00

Just stopping by for a minute to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas! It has been a great Christmas Eve, and I am certain Christmas Day will be even better. "Santa" has done his work... stockings are filled... we had great family time before the kids went to bed praying, lighting candles and reading the Christmas Story... Now it is time for a few minutes of rest and reflection before we head off to bed. Wonder if I will be able to sleep tonight?!?!

I will be sure and catch you all up on what has been going on in Our Montana Life...

Getting Closer to Christmas!

2010-12-16T13:07:00.005-07:00

We have been busy the last few days... I can tell Christmas is just around the corner!

Monday-
Sam and I went to my office Christmas party. He is a really fun date, and we had tons of fun. It was at the Story Mansion here in Bozeman. They had it decorated very nice for the holidays, the food was good and it was just an all around great evening. We came away with 2 white elephant prizes... 4 rolls of duct tape and a fire-bell alarm clock! Not bad. Just wish the whole family could have been there, but it was pretty nice to have some one-on-one time with Sam. He LOVED the location... we even took a little tour of the place just he and I.

Tuesday-
Christmas program day at school. Gracie and Sam both did a great job, and I think they had a good time too. Gracie of course was VERY shy and nervous, but she stood there with her class, and even managed to sing a few words and crack a couple of smiles. They both had brand new outfits for the occasion, and looked pretty sharp. So much fun to watch, I am such a proud
Momma :0)

In the evening we all went to the Family Promise Christmas party for volunteers and current/past guests. It was potluck, with the exception of a holiday ham (or 3) the food was great, and it was fun to catch up with some of our past guests and see how their progress has continued. Really warmed my heart. The kids were even able to visit with Santa for a bit :0) I just LOVE Family Promise... what an amazing organization to be part of.

So, as we get closer to Christmas, I think I am making some progress on my to-do list... just seems like I cross one thing off and add two! I guess somehow it all gets done... just will need my vacation to catch up on sleep! My plan is to get most things wrapped up this weekend and early next week, so by the 24th it is just fun and relaxation!

I am just trying to enjoy the process and take some time to enjoy my family... hoping you are doing the same! If you have a few minutes to spare... check out the videos of Gracie and Sam's programs. I cut some of it out... but you get the idea!